When I was angry...

  I found myself staring angrily at the screen last night. Scorn and rage were coming out of my fingertips and as a person I thought was my friend continued to speak ill of me behind my back and online I was ready for a full on war. Words are my weapons and I was ready to unleash the hell of verbal assault on this individual. While I was coming from a place of hurt, especially after all I had thought our friendship was, it was a dark hole and the spiral was very real. My positive outlook often can help me through these times, but last night I couldn't hear that voice, only the pain and anger built up inside me. I could feel the tears and the fear that comes from the natural reaction to being put in a position of defense and knew I could take this to a higher and more dangerous level with very little effort. It surprised me that my anger had so much energy, it took little to set me off and my foot went right to the floor for maximum acceleration. The world is full of knee jerk reactions spilling over into a terrible tailspin and that is where I was headed.
  My default position used to be that kind of angry response to any kind of slight, real or imagined. I could rail for days or even weeks on my high horse and it was (and is) draining. Emotional and physical manifestations of anger take a lot out of a person, emptying you and leaving you seeking even higher levels of that emotion to sustain it. I would spiral into dangerous places in my head and that could lead to crippling anxiety and my old friend depression as I felt trapped by my own feelings and needing to strike out in any way I could. Not physically mind you, I have always been more of a talker, but I would do what I could to make sure my voice was raised and my anger known.
  The last few years have taught me some sense of my own faults and I have worked very hard to address the demons I let take control for far too long. Be it my dependence on drinking to forget or hiding out in my own black space, I strived to be better and make my voice a bright one in the world. While my exploration of craft beer has led me to find new friends and experiences, there always remains a darkness in the back of my mind. Some small and unintended remark still gets my head up and looking for revenge, fight or flight engaged and my fingers poised to attack. The blindness of anger and rage give me a hyper focus that blocks out all the good I have come to know and sends the spiral into a deep and fast descent.
  Such was last night...until a friend reached out and touched me in my heart. A simple message and I could feel the anger dissipating, ebbing away like a bad headache under a cool cloth. They reminded me of the innate goodness that surrounds me just by giving me back my own humanity and helping me realise what I was doing. Petty bullshit and drama is not who I am anymore and I was leaning hard into the wind with both of those. Perhaps I should just be better than that, maybe I should let go of the hate that boils up when I am pushed to my limit and beyond. Words do matter and I was using mine in all the wrong ways for worse reasons. It was almost as if by stopping me with her message, she gave me permission to let this go. I am not sure why but I just felt that way almost immediately. The wonderful thing about our social media lives, much like our real ones, is that we can just cut out the person who tries to make us come down to their level. Block, delete and walk away from the black hole that is trying to suck you in. Being prone to the darkness means I can take that turn on a dime, good friends mean I don't have to.
  Thank you to the person who sent me a lifeline when I was drowning in my own vile anger and goodbye to the person whom I thought was my friend. Valuable lessons from both and while I mourn the loss of one, I am indebted to the other for letting me see myself again. Life is too short to be angry all the time and I will endeavour to remember that better next time someone tries to get me to react that way. Try to be good to each other, it really is such a beautiful way to live.


Polk

The Truth in May at a Beer Festival - Preview

With only 5 days left in the Truth in May, I have reached the most difficult day, The Albino Rhino Beer Festival. Not difficult because of the fun and friends to be had nor the 30 Ontario Craft Breweries that will be there. The problem I have is that I promised to document every beer I have for this month, (we currently sit on number 112...I'll be talking about that when we wrap up after the 31st), but I don't want to buried in my phone instead of having a great time. When I proposed the whole scenario, I recognised the real issue of flights and tasters. When do they constitute a whole drink and how should I account for them? At the time, I thought since most flights are four beers of 4 ounces each, that would be the post, 1 flight = 1 beer. So in keeping with that line of thinking, I am going to attempt to try at least one sample from each brewery and then do a post grouping 4 of them at a time. If I can make that work, the total will be about 7 pints over the equal number of hours at the festival. A pace that is not at all uncommon on a day off but will also allow me to enjoy both the beer and the company of my friends. I don't ever want to let writing and documenting my fun times to interfere with the actual events themselves because that is counter intuitive to what I am trying to accomplish.
  So while I will try to put the posts up as I hit the 4th sample, I may push them back a bit as I converse with fellow beer nerds and have a good time for a good cause. But post them I will and as the day goes on, I hope to meet up with even more interesting folks and explore some craft beer I've never seen before and some old favourites that I didn't know I was missing. Keeping in the back of mind to always put people first and not retreat to writing as an excuse to disappear from the crowd. Fun and frivolity will be sure to follow as long as I let it happen. See you at the Festival!


Follow along at : https://www.instagram.com/drunkpolkaroo/
and https://twitter.com/DrunkPolkaroo for updates all day long!


Raise your glass and your standards,
One Beer at a Time!


Cheers!


Polk

5 Years Ago - Rock Bottom and A Way Out

"I just hope you don't end up homeless."
  Actual words said to me 5 years ago by a CRA agent while my business and personal life were crumbling down around me. Said with a serious tone and some malice, she was scathing in attacking my undeniable failure and her hope for my own personal downfall. The funny part to me then was that I thought 'Why would I be homeless? I have a family that loves me and I am pretty sure someone would take me in if I truly lost everything.' I look back at her words now and chuckle because she wanted me scared and I was so lost in the haze of having been embarrassed publicly by my failing and subjecting myself to being treated like a giant loser for doing so, fear was taking a backseat to numbness.
  I took the only lifeline I could see and used (what I thought) was the one skill I had, being a low paid fry cook who wasn't worthy of any happiness, let alone hope. At the very depths of my despair, I heard her words ringing in my ears as I struggled working 70 hours a week just to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I was turning 40 in less than a year and I had just lost everything I had worked over a decade to build, life was bleak, dark and empty. Clinging to the only route I had out of this self created mess was getting shitty drunk on cheap beer every night when I got home around midnight, rarely having a day off and even then, spending it cramming Brava light one after the other until the fear was quieted. The absolute of my end was that I would never again be happy, let alone ambitious enough to try to make life better...deeper I went.
  The treatment of a failure who has to subject himself to the reminder of his downfall was in my face every day and I was constantly put down and forced to accept that I was only worthy because I could stand in place for 16 hours a day and hate myself for everything I had become. It was wearing me down, minute by minute I was losing parts of my soul, my sanity and my life. And then the break came that gave me a glimmer of hope for something better. The last thing I expected was to reach rock bottom and find a hand come out to help me up, but when it came I felt the first breathe of hope enter my lungs in months.
  A friend of Kat's had a family cottage and with our constant struggle to even live, she offered it to us for a few days in August of 2013, gratis, no strings attached and we jumped at it. Money would be tight in the coming weeks if we went, but it turned out that 4 days at somewhere not around here was not only necessary, it literally turned out to be the place that saved my life. 
  I had been intermittently applying to other jobs, not with much hope given my many years of self employment and low self worth, but the spark was there, I just had to believe. While at work on my last day before we left for our mini vacation, I received a call from a prospective employer and actually did the phone interview just before my long shift started...was this the one?
 Later that day, I received another call asking if I could come in for an interview that week and even with the 45 minute drive from the cottage, something told me to take the chance. I was nervous and with almost no experience in what to say or do on a job interview, I went in with the best thing I could bring, my open and honest way of speaking the simple truths of life. I talked of my skills in building teams, helping people realise their potential and of course, my dream of starting over and growing with an established and well known company that had a bright future. I was done trying to hold on to who I was before and it must have come through because even before I left the parking lot after the interview, I got another call to come back the next day for a 2nd one. Driving back to the cottage, I could feel a weight coming off my shoulders, my head clearing. We celebrated a bit that night and the next day felt like a step out of the grave, a sliver of hope. I once again went in with a positive demeanour and felt good as I left to return to the oddest vacation I'd ever had. We heard nothing on our final day at the cottage and tried to just enjoy our brief respite from the darkness that awaited us at home. It was a quiet time, my mind racing but unable to process if there actually was a way up and out from the hell I had created, Kat sensed it and didn't push too hard. We both were hoping against all odds that something, anything would swing our way and gives us one more shot at a life without the weight of the past dragging it down.
  Coming back to the house and hearing my phone ring that Friday before I headed back into work was like a choir singing to my heart. An offer was made and while I was staring a 40 hour work weekend, I was never happier. Accepting and planning to say goodbye to the people who had helped keep my head above water was all I could think of as I worked away the next few days, waiting to sign the papers before handing in my resignation. I felt light and happy and when I finally put my signature on the line and shook my new employer's hand, it truly gave me a second shot at a life I thought long gone. My immediate superior at my then job had become a good friend and when I told him I had found a new job, he was elated for me. He had watched me slowly drowning and knew my only way up was out. Good bye came fast and hard that week and while I was grateful that they had taken me in and given me a space, I knew I didn't belong there anymore. New feelings of having some worth could be felt as I drove home after my last late night shift as a fry cook and the new day and job were starting only hours later. I was definitely a little scared at starting over, sad to say good bye to something I had been involved with since my early 20's and a little choked up because I still couldn't believe anything had gone my way.
  The road to my recovery from those dark days was far from over, many valleys came before the sun broke through darkness and life still had a lot to teach me about humility and patience. But that all was at least in front of me, hope had come back to my life and that alone made this the first step in becoming a better man, one day at a time.
  4 years later and I can still feel those butterflies, my world is brighter and the future keeps showing me promise of amazing things to come. I'd love to meet that woman again just so I could tell her that despite her assurances of my imminent destruction, I'm not only surviving, I am living a life with purpose and love.
  Keep on keeping on and the world may just give you what you need when you least expect it. The new chapter begins when you finally open you heart to what can be. I did and now there is no limit to where I can go. Trust me, I've been there.


Polk

Rating and Reviewing - My take on the Numbers

Reviewing like a Boss. Pinky's out baby!

  I often get asked about the ratings I give beer at the end of my Instagram reviews. It comes, of course, from the old days when we used Untappd and scored beers to try and help us remember whether we liked them or not. It has morphed into something different as my palate and education in beer have grown and that is what drives me when I put it to the test in my glass day after day.
 Taste is subjective, people differ on what style and flavours they like and this can be a cause for some difficulty when assigning a numerical value to that latest review. What used to be a "like this beer or not" number has become a test on how closely it matches my understanding of the style as well as how I feel about the beer. An IPA that is super malty or lacks bitter citrus will obviously receive a lower score than one that is well balanced. But what separates a 3.75 from a 4? That is where it gets tricky for me and can have me waffling over the send button on some reviews for a lot longer than you'd think. Here is a brief description of how I feel when assigning the specific numbers to any beer from under 1 to over 4.5.

• Below 1.00 - Not sure what I did to the universe to deserve this punishment. Way off the mark and almost offensive to humanity. A never buy for me and one I actively discourage their production or consumption to all. 
• 1.25 to 2.00 - Any beer below this number is lacking several distinct characteristics stylistically and will not make another appearance in my fridge unless someone buys it for me, even that is pushing it. Not worth your time or money.
• 2.25 to 3.00 - Something about these beers is just a little off. They are not horrible, but they are missing or have too much of something or reached too far and didn't achieve it. Would give another chance, with caution
• 3.25 - Better than average and eminently closer to the mark of what they are. Generally falls because the balance of flavours did not come together quite as well as the style suggests. To be tried again.
• 3.50 - Solid beer, sharable, will buy again. Not outstanding but hitting all the proper marks with decent balance.
• 3.75 - Stepping up with a little better flavour profile. More memorable and the palate is pleased but not blown away. Good beer that will be tried again to explore it further.
• 4.00 - The top end begins here. Balanced and on point for the style. Checks all the boxes for texture, flavour and finish. A candidate for regular pours and recommendations to friends. Buy this beer.
• 4.25 - Now we are talking. This is when beer gets exciting. Standout balance between flavours, above the norm and sought after for repeat purchases. Something special in these beers that makes them stand out from the crowd.
• 4.50 - Simply the best. Everything screams amazing from the pour, sniff and sip. Hitting and exceeding the mark on proper style notes, outstanding flavour and texture with memorable moments all the way through
• 4.75/5.00 - I've never been this lucky or able to appreciate a beer to either of these levels. Perhaps with time I can learn enough to take some of the 4.50 to these heights. Call them Unicorn beers, one day I shall ride the lightning.

  Anyone who reviews beer and gives it a number is always open to criticism and some of that is deserved. Passing judgement on someone else's work is difficult and even more so when you get to know the good people that populate your local craft beer scene. But the honest and open exchange of information and feedback can be helpful to the brewers and I rarely post scathing reviews because it doesn't help anyone to attack or belittle a beer. Ask me privately and I will always tell you the truth, but for beers that don't hit the mark, I generally log them into Untappd and move on, not wanting to waste creativity or my words on a longer review. If I have serious concerns I will and have contacted the brewery directly to seek answers because I always want to know more. If we really are fans of what Craft beer has brought to us, making it a better and more open for discussing things is only going to create a positive place for all.
  I know some people take the reviews I do to heart and will seek out beers I trumpet and avoid ones I pan, so I am conscious of trying to be as honest as I can with everything I write. I know many folks disagree with giving a score at all and I can respect that too. I do what I do because it is part of who I am and how I translate my experience to the world. The rating I give a beer combined with the mood I try to create with the words I use should help to paint a picture that is easy to understand. I take what I create seriously, but never myself. I don't get all caught up in followers, likes or anything of the sort. Writing about beer should always take a backseat to enjoying it and the people who've come into my life are proof of that. My reviews have brought me so many opportunities to meet new people and create friendships with a really diverse group of pretty awesome people. That is what it should always be about, fun and friends with better beer.
  So review your beer any way you want, give it a score or don't, but always be honest about what you taste. Take other people's reviews with a grain of salt and look to those you trust or who you seem to have a similar palate with for suggestions. Remember that what you taste is what it is, so be patient if you're just learning to experience what can found in all the different styles of beer. It took me a long time to get here and I still feel like I have so much more to learn. Take a class, get your Prudhomme or Ciccerone certification to get into what really goes on in your glass. Or just enjoy the fact that we are living in a golden age of beer right now and explore everything your local scene has to offer. Tell a story, take a picture, sing a song or make a video if that's what you want, have fun and create something that shows who you are. I'm going to keep doing it my way because that's what makes me happy. Hope you can stick around because this ride is just getting fired up.


Raise your glass and your standards,
One beer at a time.


Cheers!


Polk

Thoughts on Selling Out

  

The future is generic? No way!

The last few days have seen the Craft Beer world in a bit of an uproar as Wicked Weed Brewing from North Carolina sold out to AB-InBev and it caused the usual lamentations and chest beating to occur. I want to be honest with you and tell you that until they sold, I had never heard of them. I am certain many of my friends were in the same boat and it isn't really a surprise as we tend to focus most of our attention on our local brewers and some of the more well known American or European counterparts.

Sweet logo, never heard of them until the other day.

This is not to dismiss what happened as not consequential, I have read about the amazing beer and rapid growth that perhaps led to this moment. I know many folks have already sworn never to buy their beer again and the brewers have, as is usual, come out with talks of strategic partnership and expanded distribution and capacity. I am not here to talk about them, or Goose Island or even our own beloved Mill Street selling to Labatt's not so long ago. No, what I want to talk about has kept creeping into my thoughts many times since this story first broke, that being what the future of our favourite craft brewers might be and how we will react to it.

  I want you to imagine for a moment that your favourite craft brewer has been approached by someone from Big Beer about a "partnership". They have been told they will receive a huge cash payment, but will remain in control of all aspects of their brewery, only now with greater distribution and money for expansion. How would you feel? In many cases, we have gotten to know these people personally, raised pints with them and felt proud as they grew and more people discovered them. How would you react to your friend getting a windfall after years of hard work building and sacrificing so much to grow their business? We may be shocked and sad but how can we deny someone the golden dream because we want them to remain small. The answers are, to me, not so black and white and despite my own personal feelings, I am unsure on how I would react.

An old favourite now no longer bought

  I struggled with Mill Street when they sold because they were among the first Craft Beers to help me shake off the demons of the past and focus on better made, more flavourful beer. The Vanilla Porter was my favourite beer of 2015 and remained so until I started to discover my changing palate could take me to so many other styles. Since "selling out", they have grown across Canada, with brewpubs opening East and West and each is "independent" and unique. But the spectre of corporate overlords can not be discounted and we see it in the beer. A corporation is duty bound, by law, to maximize shareholder profit and if we accept that to be true, have we seen a drop in the quality of beer from any of the local brewers who've cashed in? Some, like my friend who still loves Unibroue even after they sold out Sapporo, say no, it is possible to remain a relevant and good brewer even after signing for a fat cheque from new bosses. Others, too many to name, swear off anyone who takes a dollar from the "evil overlords", like Lagunitas in the States selling 50% to Heineken. 

  Where do you fall? I have my own troubles with getting too entrenched in either camp but my feelings certainly lead me to lean one way indeed.
  I am a massive supporter of the drink local ideal, supporting, visiting and promoting the craft beer scene here in Ontario is my mission and I have gotten to know so many wonderful people who work in and around the industry. From owners to brewers to social media and event staff, I have been lucky to get to know these passionate and dedicated lovers of great beer. So I wonder how I would feel if one morning I wake up and X Brewing company has now become part of the "diverse portfolio" of Molson Coors. It is bound to happen and for all we know that time is sooner rather than later. Will you abandon everything you love about your favourite local brewer because of their parent company, despite assurances that it will be business as usual? Or will you stick to some core principal and say good bye to years of loyalty because you feel betrayed. I think that is the emotional response many people haave nd it is the driving force behind that faction, the feeling of back door dealing, abandonment and just plain frustration. Drinking craft beer, for so many of us, is not just about the beer, it is about the community we have found surrounding it. Sending beer saint gifts across the province or country to share our local faves with far flung online friends is becoming more commonplace and helping connect us like never before.

My conscience is always keeping me on my toes when it comes to beer.

  I think for many of us who came to discover it later in life we cling to this feeling and revel in being part of it because so much of our lives have become programmed and corporate. Craft beer has led me to discover small restaurants and local shops I didn't know existed. I am starting to make an effort to make my voice heard with my dollars but then I also shop at Walmart and work for one of the biggest supermarket chains in the country. So I can attest to wanting to shop local but also wanting to save money and have a job that is reliable. The dichotomy of my beer purchases and some of the other points in my life does trouble me so, but that's a whole other thing to write about another day.
 The result of all this meandering is that I love what craft beer has brought to my life and I have a hard time giving the big three any of my hard earned beer budget money. So while it isn't a hard and fast rule, I bought a new Session IPA from Mill Street the other day, I do my best to keep my regular purchases crafty in nature. I will be honest and conclude that I would like to think I would give anyone a chance even if they sold a stake to a corporation, but it would be difficult to sustain my enthusiasm as the culture and even the beer would be sure to change. So choose your path wisely and with honest, open eyes. No matter what happens, this is a discussion sure to crop up many, many, many times in the future. I just really hope it's not about any of my favourites, I'm not ready for that one yet.


Raise your glass and your standards.
One beer at a time.


Cheers!


Polk

My Beer Philosophy - How I got here.

So many choices I could have made better.

To be honest, I am probably not qualified as an expert on anything...except how to screw up your life in 10 drinks or less. Long a blind consumer of the cheapest beer I could get my hands on, I will always be the first to admit my knowledge of the craft beer industry, scene or whatever we choose to call it is growing by leaps and bounds but still pretty new and generally positive due to my recent conversion and what it has done for my life. While embarking on the Truth in May (check it here) to examine what I actually consume seems like a silly idea to some, to me it speaks to a past that never goes away and a darkness that could return every time I open the beer fridge.

My Beer fridge not so many years ago.

 The real truth about macro beers for a lot of us, for myself at least, is that they scare us. They scare us with their tasteless, easy drinking consumability. They scare us with their overwhelming presence and cheaper prices. But most of all they scare us because it is so easy to slip into sweet oblivion without ever having to stop to consider the what you're drinking.

A good night?

  When I would get home from work or finish my chores around the house, that first sip of PBR, Coors Light or Old Mil would signal my brain that we were done for the day and it was time to chase the night. Did I ever pause to taste my beer? Hell no, that was for hipsters and douche bags. Just drink your beer and then get another. They all tasted the same and for years that what was what I wanted. 

50 Selfie

Uniformity and consistency is one thing Big Beer learned early and made their hallmark. A Molson Canadian tastes the same every damn time, anywhere in the world. An admirable trait in any food or beverage business and it has led to huge profits and global domination by the few Multinational giants that control most of our beer consumption. I am not an economist, but when selling a product like beer, consumer confidence in said product is paramount to repeat purchases. And for years I did exactly that. Pursuing the most drunk for my buck became my goal and it led me to some pretty bad beer, even by macro standards. Brava Light was literally as close to tasting like nothing while getting me drunk as I could find. It was not unusual to find myself 3/4 deep into a 24 several nights a week. Drinking them so fast that I would grab 2 or 3 out of the fridge at a time because I could down them before they warmed up and I didn't want to have to get up every 5 minutes. Be it any other brand, I followed the same suit and rarely considered what went into my glass. For a lot of people this is still true and they often view craft beer just as I used to. But the times they are a changin'.

My beer fridge game is much better now...in my opinion anyway.

  As I became more immersed in the world of small batch (and not so small batch) craft beer, I discovered flavours I never considered, styles I didn't know existed and friends I couldn't have imagined meeting. Leaving macro lagers behind at first seemed like an impossibility because I couldn't let go of that comforting numbness they provided. As I pursued even more and different beers, I found that I didn't need those "filler" beers as often and eventually phased them out altogether. I still have to check myself to not slip back into bad behaviour, even with better beer the darkness flirts along the edges of my consciousness. But the conversation of what is craft, what is macro and why it matters continues to rear up from time to time.
  I watched a few online discussions this week and that is what has prompted this from me today. I am a guy who goes out of his way to try and be a positive voice in a world that can be negative far too often. I give every beer a chance and when I don't like one, I usually just don't post it or give it a second thought. I don't drink macro lagers because I no longer enjoy them and what they represent to my life. I struggled early in my journey into craft to not fall into the criticizing of other people's beer choices but found myself judging them nonetheless. I never wanted to be a guy who did that and it has taken some effort on my part to remember that in the end, beer is supposed to be about fun and bringing happiness to our lives. Be a nerd not a snob has become my favourite saying and while I will make an effort to actually show beers I try that perhaps are not up to my personal standards of flavour and the like (looking at you Freedom 35), I want to make sure I don't discount someone because they like Blue. I have learned to separate the beer from the drinker, lose the stereotypes and give people a chance.

I couldn't have appreciated this even a couple of years ago.

  So I will leave the definition of what craft beer is up to the experts. I know what I like and feel that many people are in the same frame of mind. We want to buy local, supporting friends and family in our communities in the process. We want to try new and different style and flavours in our beers and we want it to be better. But we also want a consistent, well made product and that sometimes is the problem with craft beer. With the burgeoning (200+) amount of Craft brewers in Ontario alone, there is bound to be some duds. Will the marketplace ultimately weed out the pretenders? I think so, but it will be up to us, the beer buying public, to vote and support with our dollars the future we want to see in this or any other jurisdiction. I will continue to do my part to spread the gospel of drinking better and more mindfully and hope to use my love of craft beer to bring more people with me. I hope to remain your humble and honest friend in this endeavour and want nothing more than to keep meeting really good people and talking about our favourite or not so favourite beers. I am an open book with most of my life and I think that is why I am able to help show the regular side of the brave new world we are living in when it comes to beer. I love it when people reach out and ask me about a beer or brewery and I will try to connect them with someone who has the answers if I do not. I want to be part of the future that craft beer has come to represent to the regular beer drinking guys and gals of the world and hope to continue to share my life while I do it. So if you want to drink PBR, do it, make yourself happy and be damned the haters. But if you think its time for a change and want to start your own trip into a pretty amazing place, I am more than happy to show you around.


Raise your glass and your standards,
One Beer at a time!


Cheers!


Polk

Do I drink too much? The Truth in May

 

  I sometimes wonder if I drink too much.
  Or too often.
  Or for the wrong reasons.
  I see my friends, real life and virtual, posting pictures every day or so and think to myself, "Do we have a problem?" Are we masking some level of alcoholism with our craft beer "hobby". We joke about it all the time, hell the memes are hilarious, but are they hiding a bigger truth?

I drink at least one beer every day and while my quantity of consumption is nowhere near the dozen or so I used to drink in a setting, I will have no problem downing 5 or 6 high ABV beers in a night. So my worry begins when I try to explain how it's different now. How by drinking better beer and enjoying the flavours I am not pursuing the demons of the past. But am I really or is it just a clever and not so subtle way of keeping the good feelings rolling with art and beer colliding,

  I don't post every beer I drink on social media, usually only one or two a day. I'm always a little self conscious about putting too many pictures up and annoying people with my passionate love for the Craft. I usually pick and choose which beers to post by seeing which are new releases, relevant to my day or returning favourites. I don't normally plan further ahead than my next beer and there is a sense of relief when I've made my posts for the day and can sit back and enjoy a pint without too much care into how to describe or display it to the world. I am not a professional writer or reviewer, I am a working guy who loves to write and craft beer has given me a way to connect with people I would never have thought possible. I'm always conscious of the fact that I am so lucky to be able to pursue this avenue because of my position as a child free, middle class person who has a very indulgent and forgiving wife. But the question always haunts me in the back of my mind, am I drinking too much?

  I think the answer lies not in an absolute either way. There were times when alcohol played a large part in the terrible and life altering things I did or didn't do. That is no longer true and I see that everyday when I am not stressing about how many beers I have in the fridge or how many I can squeeze into an evening before passing out. I largely consume with much more mindfulness and thought now, trying to maximize the quality more than anything else and I am pretty successful most of the time in keeping my count to one or two a night. But there are still times when that becomes 4, 5 or 6 and that is what I worry about. As an advocate of enjoying everything in moderation, I truly want people to understand that it is possible to enjoy a pint or two a day without falling into alcoholism and despair. Saying that doesn't hide the fact that I have no desire not to have a beer after work or during my day off. Can I go without drinking for an extended period of time? Most likely, but I always question why I would. What harm am I doing by enjoying myself when I can? Life is complicated and often messy, beer is simple and brings me peace and joy. I understand the disease of alcoholism is terrible and the grip it holds on people is all too real. Do I feel that hold on myself when I wake up or am at work? No, but there are still times I crave a drink and the easy, liquid confidence it brings me. So I am left to wonder, do I drink beer to share it with the world or do I share a few beers with the world so I can feel good about the rest of the ones I consume. This is what plagues me late at night and many a morning.

  So with all that being said, how do I address this issue for myself. Writing about whatever is in my head usually helps to bring me some relief and this one has been percolating there for quite some time. What dawned on me is that I have become too planned out when it comes to posting my beers and reviews. Saving some for the next day or spacing them to make it seem like I'm not drinking too much was not why I started doing it and I think it's time to see just what and how much I drink in a typical month.

  So, for the entire month of May, I will post every beer I drink, when I drink it. Using the hashtag #truthinmay and numbering each one, no pint, bottle or can will slip from the public eye and the challenge I set forth. For the purposes of not being a huge pain, flights will count as one beer, gotta make sense here, no need for 75 pictures of tiny sample glasses. But no saving that picture or review until the next day, no ignoring a beer because it's my second straight one out of a six pack or hiding behind any reason for not exposing what really goes in my glass every single day. Why bother? I don't know, but when this idea came to me one night, it burrowed deep into my brain and wouldn't leave until I brought it into the light. I will give you, my beer loving friends, a glimpse into what I really drink, when I drink it and why. I will try to expose the deeper meaning behind my pursuit of the perfect beer and how I use that to enjoy my life. Will there be days when I want to ignore my pledge because it will show that I am drinking too much? I imagine so, but if you have been with me for any length of time, you'll know that I am honest about my life and pledge to not keep one single beer away from the public eye. My hope is that I will be able to see that I am right about my consuming less beer and being more present when I do it. I think that in the next 31 days I will consume around 100 beers, some different and new and a few regulars because that is what I do now. Or perhaps I will discover that I do drink too much, turning to the age old relief of that haze to get rid of the pressures of the day. In either case, I want to challenge myself to expose what many of us may be hiding by talking only of enjoying craft beer and not the possibility that we are using that to shade our dependence on alcohol. We don't talk much about it and maybe it's time we did.
  Come along and see what happens when I pull back the cover and show you the inside of my mind. I hope to post not only reviews of beers, but perhaps the feeling behind why I wanted that second Imperial IPA on a Wednesday night. It's as much an exercise in exploring beer as it is in being honest with myself about my life. Perhaps at the end of the month I will have an insight into the next challenge I want to take on and then I can share that with you. Or maybe it will just be 31 days of great and not so great beer, sprinkled with some festivals, nights out and holidays. Either way, it will be the most honest thing I can do to share part of my life with you, my friends. Tomorrow morning will prove to be a most interesting start to a month in a long time.

Raise your glass and your standards,
One beer at a time.


Cheers!


Polk

Tuesday Thoughts

In the midst of all the touring around Ontario, I turned 44 years old. I often joke that it's a "Hard 44" that leaves me looking a little older than I am and usually lands a funny look from my wife. I'm getting a bit long in the tooth and it's not a surprise that it is hitting me a little harder as we get further from our decision to not pursue reproductive help anymore. I wrote about it last June in my post I'll Never Be a Dad. Still one of my most responded to of my ramblings, it was probably too fresh to be able to contemplate what the future would hold. We are not wealthy people, although we certainly have enough of what we need and a little left over for some fun. We don't have many ambitions except to lead a quiet life punctuated with the odd road trip or weekend away. Getting older means I am starting to look back and forward at the same time with the former coming with some rose coloured glasses as I want to reflect on the good times and not the bad. But it is looking forward that gives me pause and trouble as the clock inevitably ticks on towards the finish line.
  The time we have on earth is finite and unknown. Our family has seen the loss of some of the brightest lights in our world and when a life so young is taken, you wonder why them? Why take one so primed for greatness and a long and happy future? Why am I still here despite decades of self abuse and dangerous behaviour? I felt shame and guilt when we were called to say goodbye to them and to this day wish I could grab hold of life the way they did in their short time here. A life lived without purpose or direction is not what I wished when I was a young man and it often stops me in my tracks when I feel the loss of such early promise.
  Given to melancholy is not my usual state these days and it always means I need to turn to my words to discover what is wrong. I write because it is the only way I can properly form the problems in my head from abstract to real. Uneasy at where I feel my life is heading, I have withdrawn from the world slightly in the last while, despite the outward appearance of things being normal. I have learned the public face one must present is easy to find when you've worn it so long. My world can seem small and shrinking even when my expressions are positive and happy.
How do I find myself coming back to this darkness and what to do about it shape this post and the near future. I felt no real depression this winter, mainly due to the new friends I have found in the Craft Beer Community, both online and in real life. They have helped carry me through the darkest days with little trouble and as the spring creeps in I should be elated at a state of mind that is clearer than I've seen in years, But trouble appears when the dawn is breaking and I want to head it off before it gets a foothold in my life again.
  I drink beer every day and that is no secret. Most people don't understand, however, that it is usually one or two that grace my glass and that compared to just a few short years ago, I am in control. Crushing a 24 in a night was a two or three times a week occurrence and I have no desire to be that guy again, despite the allure of the darkness and false release that brought. My turn to the second half of life, however long that may be, needs to be better because I am not afraid to face hard truths.
  I watch as my family grows apart, not in a terrible way, but in a way that is both natural and has happened since time immemorial. Children grow up, move out and start their own families. Parents become Grandparents, sister and brothers become aunts and uncles and that family bond changes because it has to. The nuclear nature of each family, regardless of composition, leads to it needing to cleave its own way outside the original iteration. My brothers are good men who have raised wonderful children, but we are not what we once were. We love each other all the same and it isn't that we don't care, it is just that the attention we can focus on our family has changed. When you see the road that life has taken each of us on; we worked, we loved and lost and finally we found our way, separate but still bound by that initial love. Where we would make time for each other became less, not because we didn't care, but because that time was needed elsewhere. Growing families need the limited time between rest and work to accommodate the needs of the immediate members and that has meant we speak less, see each other almost never and have to be okay with that. Not having children has further sent us into different worlds as I will never truly understand what they have gone through as fathers; nor will they ever really know what it is like to remain without a child to complete the circle we all grew up in. I love my whole family, from then to now, with a red hot intensity that remains steadfast but grows slightly dimmer with time. I will always miss the closeness I had with my brothers, with my cousins whom we seemed to spend so many days around and the extended clan of relatives who now play a walk on role in our lives. I may not like that I have become that person in the lives of many I love, but that is the truth and I must face it.
  The time I dedicate to myself should not be enjoyed with guilt though. Our decision slightly haunts me some days and I wonder if we should try again because I am not sure we were right to give up on the hope of having a child. A family of two is hard to comprehend when you grew up surrounded by a boisterous crew like we had, but if that is what it is to be, I need to learn to accept and even embrace it. I am never sure the feelings of an empty part in my soul will ever go away but as long as I can see that the ones I love have made something magical happen, I may just learn to be at peace with living out my days on the fringes of the larger family unit.
  I am not surrounded my the noise and bustle of a large family anymore, our life is one of the quiet pursuit of whatever catches our fancy. And while most of our friends and family who are parents would love a few of the moments of the peace we have, I know they'd never trade the lives they've built for one without children.
  Life gives us wonderful opportunities to start fresh every day, so I'll wake with the sun and try again.


Polk

Polkapolooza Craft Beer Tour 2017 Review - Welcome to The Polkapocalypse

The end of a long and winding road for Polkapolooza 2017.

  Choosing where to finish the 2017 Polkapolooza tour was not an easy task. While we would be able to reach our goal of visiting 50 Ontario Craft brewers, it was less than a quarter of the bricks and mortar places that existed. I wanted to spend an evening at a final stop that would allow us to figuratively put up our feet and relax after the long journey we had been on. Lucky for us, the south western portion of the province provided not only the right amount of breweries to get us to that magical number, but some good friends and a few surprises at the very end. I had originally planned to head as far south as Windsor, but after consulting the incredibly useful and integral to the trip map at the Ontario Beverage Network, I realised that would not be possible. I put a pin in that area for a future trip and we loaded up the car for the final time early Saturday morning.

1st Stop!

  First up was a stop at one of 5 new to me breweries (out of 8) on this day's trip, Upper Thames Brewing Company. Walking in, we were greeted by the weekly Beer and Yoga group that was just finishing up. Something I'd love to try myself, it looked like everyone was relaxed and enjoying their first pint of the day. The décor was decidedly outdoorsy with canoes hanging from the ceiling containing the light fixtures giving it a cool river vibe. Grabbing a couple of flights, we settled in and talked to the friendly staff about our week and where we were headed. As with almost every stop, they gave us some suggestions on where to head next and some points of interest along the way. We enjoyed our brief sojourn from the road, but knew we still had many stops to make before we reached the end, so we bade farewell and headed back out towards our next Brewery.

First Fight of the day!

  A unique place was in our sights as we drove to Norfolk county : Peanut legend John Picard, and his Ramblin' Road Brewery Farm. Long a tourist destination for their delicious snacks, it became apparent that the growing craft beer industry in Ontario was a logical next step when you have a giant farm and thirsty, peanut loving people to help. We were greeted warmly by a couple of Ramblin' folks, including Granny, who insisted we come upstairs and meet John himself, who was manning the grill in the restaurant above the taproom. A little surprised that the brains behind the entire operation would be hard at work making burgers for the hungry visitors, when I got to talking with John, you understood why. He talked of an honest and hard working group of people who not only enjoyed the labour of love but the beer as well. He was a blue collar, truly down to earth guy and if we didn't have so far to go, I would have settled in for one of those delicious looking burgers and a few pops of my own. We took our leave with a six pack, some salty snacks and a promise to come back when the Hop garden was in full swing. Make this one part of a day trip to Norfolk and I think you'll find yourself smiling like we were. Make sure to say hi to Granny, she's pretty awesome all by herself.

Stop #2! Ramblin' Road was all about stocking up!

  Returning to a place I had visited solo back in the summer of 2016, we drove into New Limburg Brewing and took a seat at the bar in the converted school room for a little rest before the next leg of the long day. Established as a haven for Belgian inspired craft beer, the staff was quick and courteous, with time to chat about how they are always going back to the masters of the style to remind themselves the level of perfection they were after. Kathryn laughed at how weird it felt to be drinking beer in an old elementary school and we looked forward to coming back for some patio drinks as the weather warmed. Winners of my favourite Dubbel and Blonde Ale for last year, I was happy to see their Quad was in stock and after our all too brief rest, we loaded up more bottles and drove on toward St. Thomas for the next leg of the day.

Such a cool looking brewery at Stop #3, New Limburg!

    A big seller in the LCBO and makers of the delectable Black Coal stout, Railway City Brewing were an hour's drive away, but we took our time and enjoyed every moment. Spring was slowly awakening in the small towns and farms we passed and as we pulled into the parking lot, we knew it was time for a pint.

Stop #4 was the very busy Railway City!

The taproom was jammed with a bachelor party outing and the tours they conduct on the weekends, but the staff remained cheerful and quick to help get your glass filled despite the seeming chaos all around us.

Saturday afternoon was rockin'!

We settled in for a flight each and then met the soon to be departing Sonya, who made the day at Railway City even more fun with her enthusiasm for all things craft beer. It was to be her last day at this brewery before heading off to work for Barrie's Flying Monkeys, but she was a wonderful proponent of all the things this St. Thomas brewery was doing and made sure I got a pint of Dead Elephant before we left.

Sonya was a great host! Good luck at Flying Monkeys!

It is always fun to hang out and just people watch as they try new beers and experience what we were getting almost every time we stopped and spent time at a taproom. Joy, excitement and laughter filled the air and it behooves you to add this excellent space to your next south western road trip.

Arty flights by Polk.

  Chasing the final 4 breweries meant a stop in only one city and that makes this Hamilton native jealous of all my friends in London. Home to that number of Ontario Craft brewers and some pretty nice pubs that carry great beer, we had decided on staying here and enjoying the final night of Polkapolooza, which I always call the Polkapocalypse. It is meant to commemorate the end of my macro pounding days and my turning to the good side of beer. We headed first for Forked River Brewing as they were closing sson and I didn't want to miss a chance for some of their unique barrel aged beers.

Forked River, stop #5.

London Brewing Co-op was stop #6!

  Our next stop was going to be a similar run and gun but we ran into a pleasant surprise when we walked in the door and one of our beer writing friends from Brewvy was found working at the London Brewing Co-Op.

Beer Friends back together!

Happily getting reacquainted with Tim as he walked us around the brewery, he told us of their commitment to using as local of ingredients as they could get and showed us the map on the wall that showed where everything they used in the beer came from.

Want to know where the beer comes from? They tell the tale with this map. Awesome!

Truly drinking local is always good and this Co-op brewer was buzzing on an early Saturday evening. Grabbing a pint, Kat and I settled down for a moments rest and started to really feel the finish line approaching.

Pints and good times.

Another place to add to your list of road trips, I could have spent all night talking beer and enjoying the atmosphere, but the Polkapocalypse was waiting and we left with some beer saint gifts to try at home.

Toboggan Brewing for the 7th stop of the day.

  We had planned on staying at the penultimate stop on the last day of Polkapolooza for some food and beer, but as we discovered early on, those plans usually get thrown out the window. We ended up spending so much time hanging out with friends at earlier stops that we were desperate for time and only had a quick grab and go at this very popular brewpub near the downtown core. I wanted one of the Toboggan Brewing flights shaped like their name so badly, but we had some good folks waiting for us and still had to drop our stuff off at our hotel before the final stop of the tour. I will be back this way sometime soon and I will get that flight!

The 8th stop and 50th brewery visited for
Polkapolooza, Anderson Craft Ales!

  When choosing the final destination for the tour and the Polkapocalypse, I wanted a place filled with not only great beer, but people I know loved it as much as we do. The team at Anderson Craft Ales have been huge supporters of mine since we first met last year. We have since run into them a few times at various festivals and their enthusiasm for all things crafty is infectious and
made them a logical choice for the place to end this wonderful week of beer. When we showed up, it was a happening place and we happily took a tour of the brewery with Jim, who had just celebrated his birthday that week and is the father to brewmaster Gavin. Proudly showing us the hard work they had put into building this family run business, we headed back to the taproom for a few pints and the first of the surprises that took this stop into the stratosphere. Working hard behind the taps was my good friend Pat, who I met before he joined the team at Anderson and someday hope to collaborate on some home brews with. He snagged us a few pints before we headed up to the loft style beer gardens and as I turned around, I was greeted by fellow beer reviewer Parker Edwards (his Instagram here). A happy, bearded fellow, Parker and I had planned on sharing a pint and then some beer saint gifts before the end of the night, but little did we know what awaited us upstairs.

Such delicious Beer!

  Unbeknownst to me, the two head brewers, Christina and Chris, from Toronto's Folly Brewpub were also in town and they were sitting at a table with Curtis from VQH Farms, a local farm that supplies hops to many Ontario craft brewers. I do tend to go a little fan boy when I get to meet the people who create the beer I love to drink and this was no exception. I was so happy that this was to be the end of the tour and that I was able to spend it with all these people who were involved in the industry I love so much. Jim ordered us a couple of pizzas as our trip left us little time to eat and being so caught up in talking beer we kind of forgot how hungry we were. This was the type of hospitality I found with the whole team at Anderson and we ate, drank great beer and talked until it was time for the brewery to close its doors. We were prepared for that to be the end of the night, but life is always opening doors and I am only too happy to walk through them.

As usual, I got too wrapped up and excited to remember to take a picture.
Thanks to Curtis from VQH for getting the snap !
(Curtis, Chris, Christina, Kat, Polk and Parker)

  As we were taking our finals sips of  beer, our other good friend from the Anderson clan, Aynsley, arrived straight from her flight in from the States and that's when we decided to keep the party going by heading to the legendary local Craft Beer Emporium, Pub Milos.

A must stop in London and the capper to an incredible week!

  I had long heard of this purveyor of the malted barley through many of my beer friends and it was made even sweeter to get to enjoy some food and even more Ontario Craft beer with the group (minus Curtis, who had to drive home) from Anderson and Folly. It was a fun night in a very cool pub spent talking about beer, life and anything else that came up with some really down to earth, honest folks. The trip we took was coming to and end and we felt a mixture of sadness, relief and joy that we had accomplished our goals. Well after midnight, which is pretty late for us, we said our farewells to the gang and headed back to the hotel to catch a few hours of shut eye before the drive home Sunday Morning. The fact that I remembered every stop, conversation and person from the trip make me happy because just a few short years ago I would have been too drunk to remember any of it. I often say Craft Beer saved my life and that's why I do what I do...It's the absolute truth.


Epilogue
  It's been a little under a month since we finished the Polkapolooza tour of 50 Ontario Craft Breweries and to be honest, it's taken that long for me to wrap my head around what it meant to me. Much more than the numbers (50 breweries, 27 cities, 2700+ kilometers), it has become an integral part of the story I am trying to tell about craft beer, here, there or wherever you are. It is about getting out on the road and exploring all there is to see. Going to your favourite breweries, local restaurants and pubs is a great way to support your community and I have been to a few of my own since we got back. But more than that, I wanted to showcase what you can experience by stepping outside your normal routine and taking a day or even a weekend trip away. There are so many amazing beers and even better people just waiting to be discovered. Be open to new flavours, styles and places and the world will give you all that and more. The friends I have made inspire me to want to do it again and more often. The people who make up this community are the real treasure waiting to be discovered and that is why I truly encourage you to get out there and visit as many places as you can. You don't have to go as big and wide as we did, but make it a point to try and go somewhere new soon,
  A final thank you to my partner in all things, Kathryn. It's a sometimes bumpy ride being my better half and I couldn't imagine this trip without you by my side. You inspire me with your kindness and open acceptance of adventures in beer. We have both grown and found our footing in a life spent meeting people, sharing beer and exploring the world. I'd like to think this part of our life is just starting and with you by my side, there is nothing we can't do. Thank you my love, for just being you.
  Wrapped up and put into the memory banks, the 2017 Polkapolooza tour was a whole lotta fun and I look forward to exploring Craft beer even more as the year goes on. 2018 will be hard pressed to top this one, but I'm willing to give it a shot!




 

Make your next beer run a little more epic

Break your routine and Explore everything Ontario Craft Beer has to offer.

You will be happy you did.

Cheers!

Polk