Words.
They're just words, but damn if they don't get people up in arms when it comes to their craft beer.
Writing about beer every day is challenging, how many times can I say an IPA tastes like grapefruit or some other citrus before even I begin to hate seeing those words. A low ABV beer being referred to as "crushable" or probably worse. "drinkable" can make some peoples' blood boil and don't get them started on the words "hoppy" or "mouthfeel". So many things can be annoying in the tiniest of ways when it comes to talking about our passion for beer and as someone who communicates with the world in mostly written form, I must consider how and when I use these words in their proper form and in context to what I am describing. Looking back at over 4000 different beer reviews I see a pattern of words and descriptions that I lean hard into many times because they fit the moment, the beer or the mood I am creating on that day. Here are a few words that drive people to madness, some I use and some I don't. At the end of the day, they're just words...
"Crushable" ("Quaffable")
Perhaps the most overused word to describe low ABV beers that populate the summer months, crushable gives way to a whole host of progeny that are used to try and convey the fact that these beers are not meant for slow sipping or contemplating, but simply enjoying. Fun to use but will drive some people to small madness when they see it.
"Drinkable"
One word I cannot bring myself to use as the opposite would be undrinkable and therefore this word seems fairly broad in application. If a beer is drinkable, it is by definition a liquid that you can drink. Avoid at all costs. It's just too stupid.
"Mouthfeel"
Oh, this one. The "moist" of describing beer. Drives people mad with distraction but in essence it is not a terrible word. The feeling of the liquid in your mouth. How it feels. Is it bubbly? Is it smooth, rich and velvety? Perhaps too easy and lazy, trying a more accurate description is probably for the best when it comes to the texture of your beer.
"Hoppy"
Hoppy? How? Citrus? Pine? Melon? Berry?
So many choices when it comes to describing the flavours of our beer and hoppy falls into that lazy category. I usually understand it to mean a bitter beer but in reality it can be whatever the writer thinks it is. Pithy citrus peel or watermelon can both be flavours you find in a beer, along with coconut or dill. While these beers are hoppy, most would not describe a coconut tasting IPA as hoppy. Stick to specifics and if you can, check out the hops used to help you find a better description.
"IBU"
What? But that's a good one, it tells us the bitterness of a beer. Well...in not so many words...no. The term is referring to International Bitterness Units, which is itself a scientific measurement of the amount of iso-alpha acids as opposed to perceived bitterness. While an Imperial stout may approach 80 IBUs and a pale ale only 30, the flavour intensity of the roasted malt in the stout serves to mask the bitterness relative to the pale malt. What you perceive as bitter is different than the person next to you. It makes for good copy on labels of high IBU beers but isn't really a true measurement of how you will taste it. Still gonna use it though, it's the best we've got for now.
"Cold"
Cold is a temperature, not an attribute.
Next.
"Craft Beer"
Okay, okay, hear me out. Much like IBU, craft beer means something to us that it really isn't in the wider context. The line continues to be blurred between what the hard core beer fan or snob considers craft beer and what the wider world does. Large, multi national conglomerates own some fine breweries, making great beer and that is all well and good with the general public. They don't care about semantics, they just want good beer at a decent price. What we are talking about is independent beer. Independent from a large corporate structure in a company that's main focus is maximizing return to shareholders rather than growing inside a community. Supporting a small local business seems to be the main focus and while we see the term Craft Beer as all encompassing, it has been taken to mean a whole new thing. Time will tell if things change but for now, craft beer is at best a placeholder as the industry changes and grows. This logo from Rebellion Brewing from Regina, Saskatchewan is a good place to start. Independent should be the watchword.
Much like it's close relative, clean, crispy (or crispy-boi) usually describes some form of lager. Generally a pilsner that is brewed correctly and with great care. Bringing joy, these true to style beers that taste like beer are hard to describe sometimes as they have little to differentiate from normal macro offerings to most beer drinkers. Sometimes a better texture or more flavour comes through but in the simplest of terms, crispy does the trick.
I like this word but know it stirs the pot in some circles.
"Juicy"
This one is relatively new and is used to describe the softly bitter, tropical and hazy New England or Vermont style IPAs dominating the market right now. The word could also be used to describe any number of sour ales, fruited wheat beers or the like but at this point has become so synonymous with the haze craze that it lives inside the mind for any of them. At best it tries to describe what your tasting but like tropical or pithy, it needs a descriptor attached to really be useful. I'll keep it in the repertoire but try to make sure it is context of how and why I feel that way.
A few things to ponder, many more words are probably missing from my list so a return engagement to this topic is possible. Agree or disagree, as long as we are enjoying a good beer, it's all relative.
Cheers!
Polk
