The Disappointments - The 5 Worst Beers of 2023

It is with a sense of responsibility that I return to write this list. These beers represent a failure of execution, desire and hope. A lack of sensibility and honesty, offensive to anyone who understands what it means to enjoy life...

Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh, but when it comes to bad beer, it just gets me riled up. Folks spend their hard earned money to purchase a product that promises one thing and the absolute drop off of quality and taste is stunning to witness, even more so in a world where dollars are being squeezed from all sides. People talk about breweries closing down and after some of these pints in 2023, I think a few more could follow the ones already mashed out and gone away.

  But what makes a bad beer? Of course, taste is subjective and all that jazz, I know folks who hate IPAs and would say any one of them is terrible. I don't mean personal preference, it's all about being true to style. Being what you say you are and not misleading consumers. There are poorly executed beers that just don't hit the mark and then we will see terrible beers that should have been drained from the tank and never sold to the public in the first place. I understand that businesses need to make money to stay open, but if you are going to sell sub standard and obviously off-flavoured and poor quality beer, then maybe you should rethink that business model, because eventually it will come back to you. Beer Karma can be a real thing...I hope.

 Onward we go now, the 5 Worst Beers that crossed my path in 2023.

5. Black Rapids Brewing Navigator Brut IPA

 

Why anyone in 2023 was brewing Brut IPA, let alone contract brewing one for LCBO release, is beyond me. The style never really took off and with very few exceptions, missed the desired profile qualifications every time. Maybe someone thought they were onto the next big thing or perhaps that they knew more than the beer drinking public, but this was not that.

What I said then (January 26th, 2023) :

  There was a reason Brut IPAs never really took off, and while I did find a couple of that style that were interesting enough to make me intrigued...it isn't the place to put your flagship pint....people just don't want 'em.

  Black Rapids Beer 4.9% Navigator IPA popped up in my local LC, and while it has notes of white grape, light citrus, berry, and that dry finish so desired by the style guide, it's not very effervescent, those flavours seem muted, and I'm left wondering what was happening here. It's a miss. Something about Brut IPAs makes them really tough to do well, and I'd rather they get a pass unless someone really gets deep into what makes them tick...Cheers! 2.5/5

Pints with Polk YouTube review : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHmWnfxnjCo&t=10s

4. Mudtown Station Lilly Dipper Lagered Ale

  

  There are few styles more abused than the Lagered Ale or Kolsch style. I shudder when I see a brewery lead with this because for the most part, they tend to lean into a thinly disguised, poorly executed blonde ale or lazy lagering that doesn't give the beer time to mature before hitting the canning line or taproom. It is one of my most adamantly held beliefs that most lagered ales are trash, but can be serviceable, with the odd one shining like a bright beacon on the hill, showing what it possible when time and commitment to quality are first and foremost in a brewers mind.

  This Owen Sound brew pub, more likely a restaurant with some brewing equipment trying cash in on the whole drink local thing, has delivered quite a few disappointing offerings that my wife so lovingly brought home for me when she visits her family in the area and while I do appreciate the gifts, I think she should just stop in Guelph on her way home and grab some quality pints from the amazing breweries there. 

What I said then (July 15th, 2023) :

  Muggy out here...#BeerMe

Mudtown Station 5% Lilly Dipper Lagered Ale brings not a lot to the table with a fast disappearing head to a sweetness that was off-putting. Neither smooth nor bubbly. It kind of just exists as a beer that maybe needs a little more time in the tank...cloying with no real bitterness or crispness, it feels more like a carling than anything else...meh...Onward we go.

Cheers! 1.5/5

Pints with Polk YouTube Review : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thPQWhXPvyU

3. Magnotta True North Light IPA

 

 There are not a lot of breweries that I avoid, I'm always about giving people a second chances in life and in beer. 

But.

Magnotta is a winery that bought my beloved Grand River Brewing a few years back and turned what was some really good, to style pints into another poorly made SKU at the LCBO. They have delivered many Top 5 Worst beer moment over the last few years and this soapy, weak session IPA was just another example of how out of their depth they really are when it comes to malted barley and hops. It somehow got worse the longer I drank it, in my video I actually didn't find it terrible at first, but by the time I got to writing about it a few minutes later, it had dissipated into another disaster of a pint from a wine maker who should maybe stick to the grapes.

What I said then (May 7th, 2023) :

Meh...I had low expectations and this met them...

Magnotta Winery also brews beer for some reason and the results over the years have been less than stellar...like this one...True North 4% Light IPA was brewed with Mosaic & Strata Hops and while the promised tropical bouquet never really materializes, it's inoffensive and muted. Light citrus pith, some lemon and grapefruit, rumoured bitterness and a trip to the sink...Cheers? 1.5/5

Pints with Polk YouTube Review : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_QXdLMK8eA

2. Beau's All Natural Brewing (Steamwhistle) Lug Light 

 

 This one broke my heart. I don't have much to add, I said it all on that April afternoon...

What I said then (April 27th, 2023) : 

I miss Beau's.

And by that, I mean I remember when it seemed every week brought something new to the LCBO from them, interesting ingredients, those seasonal Mix packs, and of course Gruits! Beau's All Natural Brewing formed part of the core of what changed how I saw beer and when I finally got to visit VanKleek Hills in 2016 and take a tour of the Brewery, it felt like a pilgrimage to one of the high holy places of beer. Beau's introduced me to styles of beer I didn't know existed and took crazy chances on things nobody else was doing at the time. I have a weird sort of barley-nostalgia that dates back to the mid 2010's that pulls strong on my crafty beer man soul and while I know all good things change and come to an end eventually, I'm still struggling with what has become of this once gloriously adventurous Brewery. I understand economics and the changing landscape of the craft beer world and honestly was glad to see that Steamwhistle bought Beau's last year rather than have them close or go to a macro Brewer, but this 4% Lug Lite they sent my way is just not the Beau's we know. It's a beer but displays little depth, feeling rushed and just less than. I get light lagers, I have had some real good ones, and this just doesn't get up there. It breaks my damn heart, honestly, I don't wanna be a downer, but I really do miss Beau's...

Taste is subjective, I know, but honesty isn't, and that's all I got.

Pints with Polk YouTube Review : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r-pdWc4a2w

1. Burlington Brewery Grind Stone Indian Pale Ale

  

 Is this the worst beer I've ever reviewed?

  Yes.

  But is it the worst beer I've ever had?

  Also yes.

  Despite a decent first pint from the newest brewery in Burlington, Ontario, the second offering I picked up was beyond the pale in terms of flaws. It should have never been allowed to leave the bright tank, let alone be canned and sold to the public. It was so offensive in every aspect that the memory of its astringent, vomit like taste still lingers in the back of my mind like a bad memory. People paid good money for this beer and to be honest, I don't think the brewery cares...hell, they blocked me on social media after I called them out and this one response to a Google review about their beer speaks volumes about delusions of grandeur and self importance...

30,000 cans a week? I call bullshit. That location moving that kind of volume would be overrun from open to close. If that was true, they'd be rolling in so much cash, they wouldn't know where to spend it. Imagine, that many cans times even $3...$90,000 a week...$4.68 million dollars in sales, of beer alone, in a year? They'd have to be moving more than 50+ cans a hour for any of this to be true. Where are they storing all this beer? They don't have an LCBO listing...For fuck sakes.

Anyway...on with the shitshow...

What I said then (October 27th, 2023) :

I was always told if I had nothing nice to say, I shouldn't say anything...

Fuck that.

This is not a good beer...astringent, buttery, perfume like, utterly devoid of hop character. Lingers like vomit...I had to go buy whiskey to burn the taste out of my mouth. I'm usually a pretty positive guy, but nobody should drink this beer, nor should it be sold. Not a double IPA, not a discernible style at all. This is not a good second pint from Burlington Brewery, I actually enjoyed their regular IPA, but I am supremely disappointed with whatever this is. Nope. 0/5

Pints with Polk YouTube Review : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm98gdBsW7Y

  There you have it, my friends, the return of The Disappointments. I am hard at work on the other end of the spectrum to this, The Ten, and hope to have it to you to cleanse your palate of all this nonsense early next week. 

Until then, remember that life is too short to drink bad beer. There is nothing wrong with a drain pour and you don't have to only say nice things because sometimes there is nothing nice to say at all. Honesty is the only policy that matters. 

Its's Show Business, not Show Friends.

Polk 

January 8th, 2024