Me...Part 2

 

Yesterday...was yesterday.

I scraped every part of my life that I hated and fed it into my anxiety and depression for no other reason than the oddly satisfying feeling of hating myself. It happens from time to time and while I try to keep the darkness at bay, it still comes hard into my day from time to time and must be acknowledged and recognized for what it is. 

None of us here shows our entire self when we talk about beer. We look to showcase the best of what is in our glass  and our life because we dont want to seem weak or different from anyone else. While I'm sure most people do this social media thing for a lark and to feel like they are part of something special and different, I stay because it is a real and true chance to try and keep a little part of me alive. So you bear witness to me at my best, my worst and more often, my middle of the road, drink a beer because we love it, personality. Be good to each other, check in on your friends and try to make time to listen and be listened to....we only get one chance at this and I don't want to miss a moment.

Cheers!

Me...Part 1

  Yesterday I was low. I felt lost and alone.

It isn't a new feeling, I've dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life quietly and alone because my generation of men was taught you shut up and dealt with your shit on your own, never asking for help.  So I wrote this and usually I would delete it and never let it leave my drafts...but today I want you to know it is okay to feel broken, to ask for help and to acknowledge and feel empty and lost without fear of losing everything in your life, including that life...I have a positive response to this coming up, but I want the truth to see the light.

This is what I said....

.

.

.

47. 

I'm fucking tired.

I've made a lot of bad choices, stupid decisions and just plain mistakes to get to tonight. I've lied to myself with equal aplomb as I did to anyone else. I've let the easy path of self inebriation and darkness shield me from my own poor decisions which have left me empty and often alone in a world I struggle to be a part of in any sense of the word.

 I don't belong, I never have...but here I am.

I'm not sure what it is all about, most days I'm not sure I should even be here to even ponder such a question. 

The time spent is not equal to the time left and that leaves me scared and anxious but somehow relieved that the long days journey into night will have a potentially merciful end...

I'm trying, but somedays I don't know why I bother.

Fin.

Shacklands Brewing Tripel

  Feeling my years some days. 

  Not quite 5 decades into this life, the road ahead is uncertain as the time spent is not likely equal to the time to come. While we are promised nothing as we go along, we can choose to drink good, do good and be good in all our actions. The moments are all we have, all we may remember at the end and all that remains when we have moved onto whatever awaits us beyond this mortal world. I promise I have no insight to give except to say it is always within us to be better and to learn from each day something to carry forward to the next I support Shacklands Brewing because they are real and true in their intentions. Yes they make some of the finest Belgian style ales on either side of the Atlantic, but it is their moral compass, their actions and words writ large in all they do, even brewing beer, thay makes them so damn memorable to me. Making a difference, small or big, in an individual's life, a community or a larger stage is all about being more than the sum of what you started with and I will sleep well having written these words and enjoying this beautiful Tripel because I was able to support people I care about and enjoy a moment of respite from the world while I do it. 

   Bold and spicy, coriander, bubblegum and banana, orange and dry with a full and warming finish, it continues the tradition of Shacklands excellence and also helps deliver a little smile in a day that needed one. 

   Look for kindness and your chance to add to the good in the world, we leave nothing but our memories when we go. Make sure yours are kept for longer than you could ever imagine. Cheers! 4.5/5