Polka Dot Awards 2015 #8 - Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Better than expected is always good.

One of the things I looked for in my countdown of my Best Beers of 2015 was not only the unique, seasonal offerings; I also wanted to reflect on what I drank just to relax and enjoy a beer.
California brewery Sierra Nevada came into my sights in the summer and really hasn't left it since. As I got more into reading about craft beers, these guys kept coming up , but I hadn't found any here in Canada yet.  I finally saw a sixer of their Pale Ale in the LCBO one day and thought I'd give it a try. At worst I could pawn them off on my friends if it wasn't my style. Boy was I wrong. It soon came to replace Curmudgeon as my everyday treat as it became harder to acquire my early season go to beer in the liquor store.
It pours a clear deep gold colour with a thin white head. Smelling the hops and malt. It has a full body that combines the malted barley so well with the bitterness of the cascade hops. I found that I really was digging the bitterness more than I thought and this was probably the beginning of the end for Macro Lagers in my beer fridge. Why waste good money on shitty beer when you could drink this and really enjoy it. It also caused me to think maybe I should revisit some of the other pale ales I had written off as "too Hoppy".
The American West Coast pale ale isn't for everyone, but with their sweet, biscuity malt backbone, they are definitely worth a try for that new craft beer drinker. It tempers the piney flavours associated with hops into something quite sessionable. The fear of the face pucker is something you needn't worry about with this fine brew.
I know this is a easily available, year round beer. It isn't new in 2015, nor is it especially unique. The reason I include it in my Top Ten is that I know it was brews like this that helped deliver me from Quantity beers. Without this beer and others like it, I never would have stopped to consider what I was drinking as opposed to how many I could drink.
I have no doubt that next year will bring me more new beers that will challenge my perceptions, but Sierra Nevada Pale ale will remain a beer that I keep chilling for when you stop by for a visit.
The Polkies continue tomorrow with another fine brew, but for now, I am going to get myself a Pale Ale from the fridge and put my feet up for a spell.
Congratulations to Sierra Nevada and their very fine beer for their Polkie win!
Cheers!


Polka Dot Awards 2015 #9 - Kentucky Bastard (2015)

Santa tested and approved.

One of the things I have come to appreciate about my beer is how it reflects the changing of the seasons. Lighter, floral brews come out in the summer, followed by their spiced and fuller cousins in the fall. But no season has grabbed me by the taste buds quite as much as winter. These beers come on full blast with big bold flavours. Stouts and Porters dominate my fridge as the mercury drops and it fills me with a dark, boozy happiness.
In honour of all the wonderful beers I have encountered this season, I knew one or two would make their way into the top ten and this beer from Burlington, Ontario brewery Nickel Brook was one of the most memorable of that bunch. 2015's Kentucky Bastard climbs into the #9 spot in the Polkies with its large flavour profile and heavy 12 % ABV.
I was never a fan of barrel aged beers. Not being a liquor drinker meant I often was turned off by the flavours imparted by the aging process. But as my palate continues to expand, I am beginning to appreciate these seasonal favourites.
Nickel Brook has taken their already delicious Bolshevik Bastard and aged it for eight months in bourbon barrels. This has imparted a wonderful oaky flavour into the stout. Pouring very thick and black, it has a thinner tan head that dissipates but rims the glass. It had a big strong chocolate scent. The first sip was a revelation. Dark chocolate, roasted malts, vanilla and that bourbon flavour of earthy oak notes came together to make a fine beer. It became smoother as I settled in and the alcohol kick was warming to the bones on a cool winter evening.
This beer was a slow sipper to consume. I really slowed down and enjoyed the evening with my wife. We watched cheesy Christmas specials and basked in the glow of our tree. It's high ABV means you don't pound this like a crazy man and that is why I include it here. Enjoying a big beer is something I could never have done before. I would have been turned off by all the complex flavours and rushed through it to get to my Quantity beer. Now I know better.
I have purchased another one to age. This is a first for me and I look forward to seeing what happens to this beer in a year. I have been told that it enhances and changes what is present in the brew. Smoothing out the edges and bringing forth more complex flavours. I look forward to that.
For now, run over to the brewery if you can or hit up your local LCBO and grab one. It is not your average beer and that is what gives it a spot on my countdown.
The Polkies roll along and congratulations to Nickel Brook and their lovely Kentucky Bastard!
Cheers!



Polka Dot Awards 2015 #10 - Curmudgeon IPA



Sitting poolside with my Curmudgeon

I was looking back at the Year in Beer 2015 and when trying to decide my personal Top Ten I was drawn to two distinct divisions of beers. Those I had tried once or twice due to availability or seasonality and my everyday or "Fridge Beers". Curmudgeon IPA somehow falls into both categories and for most of the spring and early summer it was always in my brown bag as I left the LCBO.
Cambridge, Ontario's Grand River Brewing Company makes this beauty as a seasonal brew from late winter to fall and defines a curmudgeon as:
1. A bad-tempered or surly person
2. An ill-tempered (and frequently old) person full of stubborn ideas or opinions.
I was both of those things a lot of the time and this beer spoke to me in both its lovely grumpy faced label and the brew contained therein. They change and tweak the recipe every year and I was very pleased to have found it in the year that it was brewed as an English IPA. If you have been following along at home, you know that I have grown to love this style of beer on my journey as I described in my post How I came to Love IPAs.
I chose Curmudgeon to be on the list for a simple reason. It was the first beer this year that wormed its way into my heart. I really fell in love with it as the spring turned to summer and it was the one thing I counted on when my day at work was done. I had not yet made my transition to Quality Beers and still over consumed on a regular basis. But when I grabbed this stubby brown bottle out of the fridge, I slowed down a bit.
It pours a copper colour with a lovely white head. Smelling of biscuits and toasted malts. When I took a sip, it stopped the clock for a minute. Nutty with a nicely malted body. The hops bitterness builds as you drink this beer. Not a crazy bitter beer, but one that leads you gently into the land of English Pale Ales and all they have to offer.
I think this is a good place to start. Great beer makes everything seem a little better and this one was the first time I added a Craft Beer to my regular rotation as opposed to just trying it once and moving on.
I look forward to what Grand River does with Curmudgeon this year. Who knows, maybe I'll like it even better when I finally get to crack one open in the new year. But for now, I raise a glass and salute this beer and applaud the first Polkie award of 2015.
Curmudgeon on Untappd

The Best Beers of 2015 - An Overview

The Drunk Polkaroo goes camping. Great beer, to bad about the glass.

Another year has almost come and gone. 2015 was momentous in my own for life for many reasons. The least of which was my decision to stop being a quantity beer pounder and to focus on drinking well made, quality beers. To celebrate this and so many other great things about this year I present to you, fellow traveller of the Malted Barley Road, The Drunk Polkaroo Top Ten Beers of 2015. The very glamorous Polka Dot Awards or Polkies will be awarded for my favourite brews.

  By no means do I think I am judging these beers on anything but what they meant to me.  I grew as a person and a consumer of beer this year. In doing so, I began to appreciate that all beers are not created equal and that the decisions I make about what to drink should not be influenced by price or volume. These beers were not just put on the list because they are highly rated (by me), but because they each gave me something new and different on my journey.

I am going to post one beer a day beginning with #10 on December 22nd, 2015 and counting down to the very best on New Year's Eve.

I tried more than 400 different beers this year from big bold Imperial Stouts to light floral Pilsners. I have merely begun my quest to find the Perfect Beer. I am still learning and hope to take you with me as I explore all beer has to offer. This Top Ten is a reflection of this growing palate and is meant to represent where I am now and where I hope to go.

So check back every morning. Hopefully you will find a beer you haven't had yet and give it a try.  Maybe I'll remind you of an old favourite and you can seek it out.
This is something I have been looking forward to for a while, but I am still not sure what beer will be Number one. It is just too damn hard to choose.
 But I can and will let you in on how I get there and what I tasted as I made my way from January to December.

Cheers!

Can it be Summer again?

Make Time this Christmas to be Present

All of us in one place? Not as easy as it used to be.

As I was driving home last night, I was thinking about Christmas. More specifically about all the great things we did when I was a kid. It was a real treat to grow up in my family, Christmas was considered to be the best time of the year. not just because of presents, but due to all the get togethers and various functions both sides of my family would have. Christmas parties, visits to our house and visiting other people kept us going crazy all month long. Christmas Eve was the most looked forward to night of the year. Papa and Grandma would come over to our house, soon to be joined by a large contingent of my fathers' family. It was a loud, boisterous time and when it died down it was off to my mothers' side and even more Christmas. Grampa and Granny brought the whole brood under their roof every Christmas Eve and more libations and presents were exchanged. There would be 30 plus people crammed into that little house and what fun we had. 

The point of this little non-beer related post is that while I thinking of these wonderful times, I started to contemplate the future. Already these traditions are changed from when I was a kid. That is natural, things change. But what struck me was what Christmas will be like in 10, 15 or 20 years from now for me and Kat. We do not have kids, hopefully we will, but nothing is certain. My extended family rarely can get together because everyone is "busy". I am guilty of this myself. Just wanting to go home and try a beer or two before crashing out for the night. The thought I kept coming back to was not the presents of Christmas past, but the presence of the people who made it my favourite time of the year.

I am lucky enough at 42 to still have my Granny around to keep me grounded in those childhood days. She does an amazing job of bringing us all together on the Eve and at 90 has more energy than pretty much any of us. But still, there are some things I really miss.

 My Papa and Grandma coming through the door on Christmas Eve was one of my favourite memories and I always kind of wish I could have that feeling one more time.

 Walking into Grampa's house and seeing him sitting at the kitchen table waiting for all of us to arrive for that same night is another thing that I would love to experience again.

So many other moments big and small that make my Christmas memories shine.

Life doesn't work that way. All I have are my memories and that is what I am getting at. It truly is the people who are not here that strikes me the hardest. We lost my Uncle Tom this year and he loved Christmas more than almost anyone. He played Santa Claus and raised money for charity doing it. He loved to watch the kids eyes light up when he walked into a room, dressed as Santa or not. We've said good bye to more amazing people than I care to remember. Brothers, sisters, parents, extended family and friends passing from this world far too soon. This is what made me open my eyes.

I am sure we all have fond memories of those who are not here. I ache at their not being with us and saddened to see those around me suffer from the pain of the important people who they've lost and cannot have with them at this most joyous time of the year. This has struck the chord with me. What about the people who are here, but whom we do not make the effort to see. What about that best friend you've fallen out of touch with because trying to fit them into your schedule is "hard". What about that family member who you don't talk to because of some slight years ago. What about all the people who we want to reach out to but feel too much time has passed and despite our best intentions, we just don't try.

This is the thing. I am sure we all feel rushed. We shouldn't, but we do. Always trying to cram more things and events into our hectic schedules, but missing out on what is truly needed. Time is a commodity that isn't bankable. All we have is the here and now. You are not promised tomorrow, so get on with your life today.

I know it sounds simple. Pick up the phone, drop by for a visit or send a text message and get together for a pint. It isn't that easy for most of us. Maybe we feel some shame at letting people lapse out of our lives or not being there when they called. Perhaps we've spent to much time looking inward at our own lives and not enough time trying to connect to our wider circle of family and friends. I don't know what it is you miss, but I am sure it is something or someone. And that is the whole point of my rambling.

There is time, as Scrooge learned, to start all over again. It really never is to late to come back home. Just because we have fallen apart does not mean we cannot put it back together again. My biggest fear is who I will be missing next year. Hopefully no one, but we never know when our time here on this planet is up.  I do not want to be sitting here next December thinking about someone I've lost and wishing I had spent more time with them, especially at Christmas. You do not want to remember someone you love and regret that you couldn't find the time to include them in your life. People are not perfect. We know all too many ways to hurt one another and often do so without malice. That is the thing I want to stress the most. If you can forgive someone, do it, you will be better off for it. Hanging on to old wounds if it is possible to heal them is not going to be something you will treasure as the years pass.  I am as guilty as anyone at holding a grudge, but all that gets me is exactly nothing. By all means do not interact with someone who actively hurts you emotionally or physically. I am well aware that there are some things people do that are just not forgivable. But I am talking about those things which seemed so big at the time, but now you can see them for what they truly are and wish there was some way to repair the damage.

Don't let 2015 pass by without trying to do better. Make the first step and I think you will be surprised at what happens. At the very least, you tried. Forgive yourself while you're at it. You are never as bad as you think you are. Have some humility, you are not better than anyone either. Try to get along with people, it makes life better. And most of all, go home. Wherever that is. Go there, raise a glass of egg nog, or beer or coffee and toast your amazing luck at having found your way through that door. I may only have my memories of those long ago days, but that isn't a reason to not make new ones. Please do yourself a favour and at least try.

Someone misses you, I guarantee it.

Merry Christmas!

 

Beer of the Week - December 13th to 19th

The clock ticks closer to the big day and the beer keeps getting better in my house. I love picking my Beer of the Week (BOW) on Sunday morning. Looking back over the past week and remembering all the great (Samuel Smiths Imperial Stout) and not so great (Oculto) beers that I crossed paths with.

This weeks BOW was chosen because it was the beer that made me slow down and relax. When you work in retail at Christmas in a mall, that is something you just don't really do. I found myself running a little ragged at the edges on Monday night and when I popped the cap on Nickel Brook's Kentucky Bastard (2015) it really grabbed my attention. They've taken their Bolshevik Bastard and aged it for eight months in Bourbon barrels. Sounded interesting. This big brew comes in at a pretty high 12.0 % ABV and a whopping 80 IBUs. But bitter it most definitely is not. Big and robust flavours dominate this brew. The most stunning feature for me was the bourbon flavour that has been imparted from the aging process. I have never been a big fan of any liquor, preferring beer to anything else when it comes to intoxicating beverages. This brew melds the best of a stout, with its chocolate, coffee and vanilla flavours, with the silky smoothness and high alcohol content of the aforementioned booze.

As I sipped this one, I watched some Christmas specials with my wife and just chilled. It became more complex as it warmed up, with the chocolate helping to mellow the sharp bourbon. I didn't have another after it and I didn't want one. It was a fantastic way to just enjoy the evening. This is exactly the type of beer I would not have appreciated a year ago because it is not an easy beer to gulp down and get onto the next one.

I am going to buy another one and age it for a year. this is a new concept to me, mainly due to the fact that beer usually didn't last more than a few days in my fridge. I have been told that aging it a year or two can really change the way the beer drinks. Smoothing out the flavours and making it even more interesting to the taste buds. I look forward to what happens next December when I pull this out of the cold cellar and see what time can do to my beer.

Cheers to Nickel Brook and this outstanding Seasonal favourite. Kentucky Bastard is deserving of this weeks BOW and maybe even the Beer of the Year. (More on that later in the week.)

Get one of these and just relax.



Why am I drinking a Pine Tree or How I came to Love IPA's



You were always on my mind.

I have a confession to make. I used to hate India Pale Ales (IPA). I loathed them with a passion reserved for the very worst cod liver oil. They tasted like bitter pine trees. I was relieved when I would share bottles because that meant I only had to have a small taste of these crazy, angry little beers. Then something magical happened; My continued quest for the perfect beer resulted in my learning and growing. My palate expanded and, oh my, how I love these beers now.

  In the beginning, there were trees. Bitter coniferous trees. "Why is my beer like Christmas?" "Who does this to beer?" "Not another one!" All the damn time. I would shudder at the thought of downing one of these bitter bastards and would pound my taster as quickly as anyone to be able to grab any other beer in the fridge. I could not detect subtle notes. I only found the pine. I would fall back to the Quantity beers I loved so much and try to forget the hoppy bastards.

About as much IPA as I could handle.
Note the Old Mil. in the back, always close by.

  I think we all begin our beer drinking days with some kind of elicit consumption. Whether it is being given a sip of the old mans beer on a hot summer day or sneaking one or two into a teenage party. Most everyone I know had the same reaction to beer back then, that it was bitter and how did anyone drink that. Of course, as time goes on, we learn to love the taste and given that most of us drank macro lagers designed to mask any kind of flavour profile, it is not surprising. Plus, getting drunk was awesome! Right? Okay, just me then.

I've discussed a couple of time my love for cheap beer. When I started tracking and trying new beers I was a dedicated consumer of Brava Light. I even had a birthday celebration with that theme, cake included. It was wonderful. I don't remember much of it after the first hour, but hey, that's what everyone does on their birthday. No? Just me again.

Brett made me a fine cake. Why do I have two beers? Because reasons.

As I progressed into the craft beer world, my first love was amber lagers. Close enough to my old regular beer that it didn't throw me off.  But they were well made with a complex flavour profile. Finding these brews led me to explore the world of English Pale Ales (EPA), which go a little farther into the toasted malt notes of nuts, bread and biscuits. But I still couldn't wrap my head around IPAs. So bitter, with a mouth puckering intensity. I kept reading about all the unique and different flavours, but I couldn't detect them.  Given it was people I trusted who were telling me about how good they were, I was really missing out.

Great Canadian version of an EPA. Plus, I kind of am a Pompous Ass.



I think I finally started to see the light about a year ago. I had smoked for about 25 years until September of 2014 when I was able to quit with the help of the Vape smoke. I know it is viewed as a sort of hipster douche bag thing now, but believe me, no way I quit without it. That is a story for another day. As most people know, when you quit smoking, you begin to regain your taste buds. Food becomes more intense and I really began noticing this in the beginning of 2015. I had moved on to pounding cans of Old Milwaukee by then to "cleanse" my palate between tasting craft beers. But these macro lagers were becoming less tasty as I was getting into all the flavours I was experiencing. Some for the first time all over again. One of those was anything citrus. For a long time, things like oranges and pineapple had sort of a overly bitter backend for me and I think that was because of the smoking. I was really starting to enjoy these old favourite foods again and in time that translated into what I started to enjoy in my beer as well.

Beautiful scene. Too bad about the beer.

As the year progressed, I began to drink less. I already documented my decision to not binge drink in a previous post, The Art of Not Drinking. I fell in love with heavily malted brews. I couldn't get enough of their flavours. Seriously, they are great. Extra Special Bitters and English Pale ales are two of my favourite styles. American Pale Ales (APA) like Nickel Brook's Naughty Neighbour were another story. When I first tried that beer, it was a disaster. All I could taste was the overpowering bitter hop essence. This was often referred to as "Hoppy for the sake of being assholes." I couldn't see the forest for the pine trees.

Lovely beer and a sweet can design too!

I started to revisit some beers this summer and discovered that a lot of these APAs had a wonderful malt backbone with caramel coming to the forefront. They were bitter, but more complex than I had initially thought. American west coast beers like Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale and Torpedo, together with Anchor Brewing's IPA became staples in my beer fridge. Seriously, they are a good transition to hoppy brews. I'll split a sixer with you if you want. While definitely bitter, their smooth, malted barley flavours gave me an entrance into the wonderful world of hops.


One of the top ten in 2015!

Then came what I called big boy beers. Imperial or Double IPAs that give you a kick in the mouth. These are beers rated quite high in their IBU, which stand for International Bittering Units. It is a scientific way to measure the bitterness of your beer. To make it simple, the higher the number, the more bitter your beer will be. There are mitigating circumstances. The more heavily roasted and malted beers, think stouts, will mask the bitterness better than a pale ale due to the flavour intensities. But in general, a big number means a beer with serious punch.

  A more "sciencey" explaination of IBUs.

Suffice it to say that I had always struggled with any sort of bitterness, but now that I could taste again, it was off to the races. I started to detect note of tropical fruits : pineapple, mango, orange and lemon. The piney resin was still there, but now served as a component of what the beer was about and not its defining characteristic. I had heard these beers described as "juicy" but never understood what that meant. Now I did. There is, in the good IPAs, a sort of mouth watering juice like flavour that comes roaring across your tongue when you drink them. It makes for a wonderful experience.

Some local favourites like Lake Effect (Great Lakes), Headstock (Nickel Brook) and both Mad Tom and Twice as Mad Tom (Muskoka) are as good, if not better than their more well known American cousins. These beers bring all the best that "pine tree" beers have to offer the beer drinker.

Just a beauty and brewed locally.

Now that I know what I was missing, it is not uncommon for me to look for an IPA when choosing a beer to drink. Not just to get a badge on Untappd, but to savour and enjoy. There are so many variations on the style that I don't think I will ever get bored. They can challenge the taste buds in a way no other kind of beer can and that is what makes them among my favourites. Thanks to a better understanding of what I am drinking, I am no longer scared when I see a beer with an IBU of 70+. I look forward to the enjoying all their flavourful notes. You should too.
Cheers!

Short Pier, Long Walk from Refined Fools.
100+ IBUs.
Don't be scared.
So Damn Good.

Grocery Stores and Beer. A view from the Drunk Polkaroo.

 

I think this is where the beer is.

Today, December 15th, 2015, is a "momentous" day for Ontario beer drinkers as major retailers like Loblaws will begin selling 6 packs and single cans. I put that in quotes because there seems to be a large segment of the beer drinking population that is still angry about our lack of choice in where we purchase our brews. It is understandable to be a little cynical about the whole program; the Beer store still has its monopoly for the most part and prices aren't going to come crashing down due to more "competition". Regulation of what the minimum cost of beer or spirits is not set by the market, but rather by the Government run LCBO. (Beer and Wine Tax in Ontario)
So looking to find better prices through more availability isn't coming anytime soon.

I think one of the issues for people like myself is convenience. We want to be able to grab a sixer or some cans of our favourite Ontario craft beers in the easiest way possible. Everybody goes grocery shopping at least once a week, so it makes sense to have beer where you shop for food. Having it in convenience stores would be even better, but I really think their selection would lean towards macro beer that sells well and would be most in demand by the general population. The 20% shelf space requirement for local breweries is a good step, the 50% Loblaws has said they will carry is better. But these are businesses and they are in it for the profit. Buy better beer and more will be available I always say.

I work at a major grocery store that is not carrying beer and while I would love to be able to grab my beer right there after my shift ends, I would probably still go the LCBO less than a minute away because they have a much more varied selection right now.  If we could somehow ensure a constant and changing "Wall of Beer" like they do at the Wegman's I visit when I go across the border, I would change my tune. I love that when I go down the States, I can get a Pick Six of any different craft beer for $9.99. Even with our terrible exchange rate right now and the duty, that is still pretty damn good.

The biggest problem is not price for me. I understand that beer in Quebec is cheaper, but also that their income tax rates are much higher than ours here in Ontario. Where the government lowers taxes in one area, they will surely find a way to raise the revenue in another. Sounds pretty simple. My real demand is always going to be choice. Give me access to more of the great beer brewed here in Canada and the world and you have my attention.

Will it ever look like this? Dreams can come true.

 Will this step lead to greater selection? I want to believe it will. Right now that mostly falls to each LCBO and their decisions on what to stock. That in turn is driven by what sells. I go back to my original premise. Demand better beer, buy better beer and the retailers will follow.

Those of us that love to explore all beer has to offer will never be in the majority of the consumers of the malted beverage. For most people, a Coors Light is a beer that does the "thirst quenching" job and helps to get them where they want to go without too much thought. At no point do I think Craft Beer will overtake the Big Boys of beer, but we can make the needle move enough to drive the market in the right direction. It is already happening. The selection in only the last year has improved greatly in my local LCBOs and I hope that means people are making more informed choices.

My own decision to pursue the Perfect Beer has made me much more conscious of what I purchase. I don't buy Molson Canadian because I have had it and it is not for me. My uncle loves it and that is what he has in his home. If I was going to visit him it would save me the trouble of going to the Beer Store after work if I could just grab him a six pack when I was leaving. That is what this whole thing is about for me then. Convenience and accessibility. It was never about more choice, that will only come when we, the beer drinking public, demand it with our wallets.

Keep buying all the best that Craft Breweries have to offer. That is what will bring about true and lasting change. Only when we make our voices heard through what we buy can we expect retailers to listen. Don't give up hope that we can push the envelope on selection. I will continue to believe in a future where my choices expand and grow; With only the imagination of those talented brew masters as the limit to what I can buy.

Cheers!

List of Stores Selling Beer in Ontario




***Just a little note on the end here. After I wrote this I actually went to one of my local Fortino's and picked up a 4 pack of Pompous Ass Ale (which rang through as Canuck) and a can of Boneshaker IPA. I love both of those beers. They also had some Hoptical Illusion, Canuck Pale Ale and Beau's Lug Tread to name a few.  The choices for craft beer were not as diverse as the LCBO, but it was occupying as much shelf space as the macro brews. That is a start. It was a pretty surreal experience to be buying beer at a Canadian grocery store for sure. I actually bought something else because it seemed so weird to just buy beer there. It can only get better from here, right?***

Purchased at an actual grocery store! Mall Road Fortinos.
Yes I bought peanuts as well.
I didn't want to seem like a booze hound.
I am also aware that sounds weird.



The Art of Not Drinking

Having a good time without drinking?

I could do that.



 "No thank you, I'm driving."

 "No, really, I'm good."

 "It's fine, I am okay with not drinking."

 "I'm telling you that it's cool, I don't have to drink to enjoy myself."

 "This is really good coffee."

  These are things I have said when I do not drink at a function. The very fact that I wasn't drinking was sometimes enough to set people off. I think that was supposed to be one of those "light bulb" moments when you realise some big truth and sort of wake up to your reality. I took a little longer to figure this out.

  It started at a wedding two years ago. I know my own weakness for over consuming and had made a conscious decision not to drink. It was a bit of a drive and we were borrowing my mothers car, as neither of ours were in the best of shape. I was uneasy not returning it that evening or leaving it in a strange city. Kind of a weak thing, I know. The other reason was more practical. We didn't have the money for the hotel that every one else was staying at. I was still a long way from coming to grips with our financial situation and its eventual repair, so the thought of scrambling to afford something as impractical as a stay in a city under an hour away was something I struggled with. I hated to miss out on any sort of drunken shenanigans, but for once, my common sense won out over my drinking habits.

  It was an entirely enjoyable evening and it should have shown me the light that I didn't need booze to have a good time, but of course real life doesn't work like a half hour sitcom.  People seemed unnerved by my decision not to drink and as I think back, given my previous behaviour, it must have looked odd. It was a surreal experience to be sober in a room  full of drunken frivolities in my favourite big city, but I was pretty happy that I could pull it off.

  This wasn't the big moment when my eyes widened and I understood there was just a man behind the curtain in Oz, I still drank to excess and blacked out on a regular basis. Slowly though, things were percolating below the surface.  Initially, not drinking at an event was an act of passive-aggressive defiance, to prove I wasn't an alcoholic or that I could have fun without the drink. Difficult to be sure and a real pain in the ass to deflect anyone who questioned it. My past of always cramming as many beers down my throat in the least amount of time was coming back to haunt me.

  I was always the guy who pressed other people to join me in my ways. I didn't want to be the only one drinking, although that never stopped me. Who doesn't want company when you are on a path of pure inebriation. Looking back, I shudder at the sheer stupidity of what I did sometimes.

  There were other, small moments of clarity. A party here, a night out at a restaurant there and finally this year at my cousins wedding. My brother and his wife were coming down for the festivities and it wasn't often we got to spend time together outside of the usual Christmas or Thanksgiving functions. Initially we were going to split a cab, but the reality of spending $100 plus to get to and from an event was a little too much for my now budget conscious ways. My brother is a hard working, seven day a week kind of guy who rarely cuts loose. I realised that if I drove, he could enjoy a few drinks and enjoy the evening. The idea that my not drinking could let someone else have fun and save me money was something I had rarely considered. Off we went after multiple reassurances that I was fine with not drinking and what great time we had. No one got sloppy drunk, but I know all of us had fun. I didn't dance as much as I do when I have many brews, I am a middle aged man with some idea of how badly I move when the music gets to me. When we got home, I had a beer or two to celebrate and went to bed. I felt pretty good. I could do this.

  Over the course of the next month I slipped up once or twice. Temptation is always lurking for me and my social anxiety can push me to overindulge to cover up my fear at a function. But the more times I woke up in the morning with a full idea of what happened the night before and no hangover, the more I liked it. I didn't want to give up my pursuit of the perfect beer completely, but neither did I want to drink like Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas either.

 Two plus months of small victories had shown me what I could do if I tried and I made the hard call.  No more going over the top and drinking without thinking. I addressed how this came about with my use of social media to connect with others who enjoy quality beer and eschew the macro binge drinking I used to love so much in the post A Brief History of Me.

  I have discovered that the process of writing about each beer makes me slow down and consider what I am putting in my glass. I want to experience all that the brewer put into each one and drinking less meant drinking better.

  The reality of what I am doing doesn't escape me. I walk a thin line every night when I open a beer. I am very aware of the real dangers alcoholism poses to those who cannot control the disease. For years I was that person. But, and again, in my case, I want to believe I can do this. Because the alternative, if this proves to be something I cannot do, is to give it up all together. I don't want to have to do that, but I know I will if I cannot continue to be responsible.

 For the last two months, I have avoided any social setting where alcohol is served. I needed to shut down that part of my life to show myself that I can enjoy 1 or 2 beers and make the conscious decision to not have a 3rd. It isn't easy, but I am doing it. But I cannot hide in my work and my home forever. I have to go out and experience life. I want to go to birthday parties and visit breweries. As corny as it sounds, I want a handshake that turns into an "I miss you" hug. I need to spend time with those I love and celebrate the moments big and small we all share. I want to do these things and not be who I was when there was no limits to what I consumed.

  So as Christmas  approaches, I vow to venture forth and hopefully rejoin those I love. I am sure it will take time to repair the damage 20 plus years of not giving a shit about myself and generally being a giant ass have caused, but as they say "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

  Breaking the habits built up over a lifetime of self medicating is not easy. But I don't think I can do it alone. I hope to see you all when I am out and about this holiday season and we can maybe share a brew or two. But please know that if we are just going to hang out, grab a coffee and shoot the shit for a while, that is great as well. I need the people I love to be a part of my life again. Let's get to know each other, all over again.

Beer of the Week - December 6th to December 12th

The Beer of the Week (BOW) for this week came about in the most unusual way, for me anyway. Monday night while I perusing Instagram, pictures of one beer kept popping up as I scrolled through all the beer travelers I follow. The beer looked wonderfully delicious from the pictures of I saw and everyone seemed to really enjoy it.

Knowing I hadn't seen it in any of my local LCBOs, I inquired where one of my beer pals had acquired it. Right near where my wife works it turns out and that was good news indeed. I took a screen shot the next morning and sent it to her at work, asking her if it would be possible sometime in the next week for her to grab me one on her way home.

When she got home and we started making dinner, she kept asking me where I put my new beers and if I kept track of what was in my fridge. Seemed like odd questions, but I thought nothing of it. Dinner being done, I headed down to the basement to grab my Beer-vent brew and watch some Christmas specials. Mrs. Polkaroo usually joins me, but she was slow in coming down. I puttered away at a few chores and finished my new beer. Feeling like another one, I opened the fridge for a second time and finally, to her relief, noticed what she had done. She picked this beer up that day, leaving work early to do so. What a surprise and a joy it is to be lucky enough to have someone so thoughtful in my life.

It wasn't quite ready to drink right then, but on Wednesday night I had maybe one of my favourite beers of 2015.

Innocente Brewing Company is from Waterloo and this was my first time trying one of their beers. It will not be the last. Charcoal Porter is an wonderfully put together beer. poured coal black with a big bubbly tan head. Coffee and cocoa wafted up to entice me. It had a bitter black coffee and dark chocolate taste with a big roasted malt body. Dry finish with hints of more chocolate. Such a big and robust beer was deserving of the title. It went down better than I could have expected and is the beer I keep coming back to when I think of the best of the week.

Thanks to those who let me in on this little gem and of course to the best wife in the world for continuing to support this old guy in his pursuit of the Perfect Beer.

Innocente and their Charcoal Porter are just fantastic! Well deserved BOW and cheers to many more.

Such a complex Beauty.

Link to Charcoal Porter on Untappd