This photo was taken 14 years ago today.
Ir means the world to me, even though so much has changed since this seminal moment in The Life of Polk...
It was taken at a bar in Blue Mountain, with a man who was my very closest confident and best friend. He got me to order a Harp Lager. Surprisingly, even that euro pint was way out of my comfort zone at the time...
But more than that, so much more, it represents a time when I held the world in my hand...at least I felt that way. I was in the middle of the greatest decade of my life, without knowing it, and this pic reminds me that there was a time, a very real time, when I was surrounded by folks who loved and cared for me and who I would do anything for. I didn't realize it would all come to a crashing end, honestly, all at my own actions...but damn, those memories, those special moments, hold me here on this planet harder than any gravitational pull ever could.
I miss the people who were so important to me then, I miss who I was too. I know that time and circumstance has landed me exactly where I'm supposed to be, but the nostalgia for a time when I had folks in my life who had my back no matter what hits hard sometimes.
In the last decade, everything I knew changed. Some of that was beyond what I could control, but so much was created right in my own mind, I pushed and pushed until almost no one was left. I miss the easy days of friendship, frivolity, and fun. I know I can never recapture moments like this, but the fact that they existed gives me hope that I can find my way home again....
That smile is so real that love goes beyond any years put behind it, and I stick around because I think that maybe, one day, I can be that guy again....
Next pint is on me.
Polk
September 17th, 2024
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