He muttered under his breath as he looked across the table at the half finished growler of double IPA without a lid on it. A reminder that he was down another Spiegelau glass after his ill fated attempt to pour with one hand last night. He knew it couldn't go on like this but was resigned that it would. How could things be any different when he kept going back to the same damn routine day after day?
Picking up the sad remnants of his now shattered IPA glass and then pouring the flat citrusy beauty left in the growler into the drain, silently cursing his drunk self for wasting such a lovely beer on a bender he couldn't afford.
Shrugging at another hangover with Tylenol and a few glasses of water, he trudged his way through the day, acknowledging his superiors in the way they were accustomed and cheering on subordinates in the way they were. Not wanting to let anyone in on his misery, he placed a mask between the world and who he truly was as he had done since long before he could remember. More days than he was willing to admit to himself existed where he was a functional alcoholic dealing with a bender and 4 hours of sleep and today was another empty slog through the motions of reality with no end in sight.
Passing through the doors after his 10 hour shift finished, he wondered if he should just go home and try to make amends. She couldn't still be mad and maybe this time he could keep his promises. Or the other sad reality was on it's way and he headed to the nearest liquor store for reinforcements on a Thursday night alone.
Walking the aisles with a basket over one arm and his phone in the other, he looked like any other suburban dad on his way home for a few beers to BBQ with and he liked to live in that fantasy a bit. Maybe he'd let the kids sneak a sip and they'd laugh about the faces they made as his Imperial IPA made junior stick out his tinge and pretend to throw up. Kids man, who knows what else he missed out on as life crashed from one mistake to the next. Pausing at a new release from an old favourite brewery, he wondered if he should take a road trip and spend the weekend in the big city. Lots of taprooms and people he knew in a slightly familiar way would mean an a acceptable amount of cover for his continued descent into the darkness. The budget wasn't exactly loose with free cash but he figured that was a problem for Monday's man and with a long weekend approaching started making mental notes on where he could go and who he could get to join his merry band of one.
Thursday's often ended earlier than other days but tonight he was headed home with a half dozen tall boys and a mickey of cheap whiskey, a warm breeze meant he would be out on the Patio long after the lights dimmed and his neighbours went to sleep.
Drinking alone tonight wasn't on his radar that morning but as was his way, he went with whatever impulse promised even a moment's relief from his ordinary and altogether unremarkable life. Not how he envisioned things turning out but that was now beyond his scope as he immersed himself into his own little world. Delving deep into his beer, he left everything else behind as he played at a hobby masking something he couldn't understand anymore.