One Year Later...

                             

  I woke up this morning, knowing it's been exactly 1 year since the last time I indulged my inner drunk and had way too many pints, topped off with a big old glass of whiskey. One year since I could barely breathe after going up a flight of stairs or walking to my car and one year since my resting heart rate was somewhere around 170 beats per minute. In those 365 days, I have not let go of reality even once. No slip ups or "accidents", never having more than 2 beers in a single day and no hard liquor of any kind. Part of this is predicated by all the medications I'm on to help control blood pressure and keep my heart from running itself out of beats before my time is supposed to be up. But the other part has become a battle of internal monologues, each vying for supremacy and each with some good points to be made. 

  On one side, we've got the good times Polk, the drunkard who loves to let go and seeks the haze that only a half dozen beers and a full glass of whiskey can bring. He seeks the nostalgia of a past that sometimes isn't just seen through rose coloured glasses, it's outright delusional. But he relaxes. He takes the weary mind and the world gone mad and just let's them go. He watches his favourite movies and shows and has not a care in the world except for his next drink and he gets to drift away into the night, careless and thoughtless.

  The other side, Sober Polk, hangs off me like an ill-fitting suit two sizes too small. The biggest problem I have run into being sober for an entire calender year is the unrelenting reality of the world around me. Living through the entire last year without a hazy filter or escape has led me down some pretty dark paths and while I know intellectually that drinking too much is part of why I'm where I am today, I still can't help but miss it dearly. Sober Polk is a quieter guy, but he rages underneath and sometimes that bubbles through unintentionally. I feel like I have begun to care less about things that used to be important, maybe to not have to feel any emotion or maybe to shield myself from the temptation to say "Fuck it", and pour the last of my whiskey from a year ago and fire the whole thing up again. It would lead to my demise faster than I'd like, but somedays, sober me gets the feeling that he isn't afraid of that anymore.

  That I haven't given into my lesser angels this year has been a surprise to me for sure. I remember lying in that hospital bed trying to figure out and bargain with whatever the universe is to be able to just go back to living as I had been. What part of my intellect was I suppressing to try and make that work is beyond me, because I knew life was changing and would never be the same again...but then it kind of has been, just without any release from reality and responsibility.  I wanted it all to just be a big misunderstanding and it has turned into an internal struggle for my very existence. I know I am better now than I was a year ago and I have an incredible opportunity to further take my health in a better direction with the help of many professionals, part of a bariatric/heart health study I have agreed to be part of. I like when they ask me if I drink and I can honestly say 2 or 3 beers a week. 1 specialist asked if I could go completely dry and, without hesitation, I said "Yes.". 

And I meant it.

  I have come to enjoy my pursuit of the best in non-alcoholic beers over the last 9 months plus. I've found some incredible gems among the almost 200 different offerings I've been able to find. The ability to keep writing and talking about some kind of beer is part of what keeps me sane and around. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't do even that little escape into what I love to do. But as I have learned in the last year, I am capable of change, even if I fight myself all the way through it. 

  I need to lose a lot of weight still, apparently it wasn't the beer after all, I know, I was surprised too. I need to reevaluate my relationship with food and the how and why I eat the way that I do. I need to become more active, even if it scares to take the first step on a walk that could alter my life forever. The things I seek exist in the wisps of the future that stretch out into the unknown. I am not sure if I am truly capable of the next steps, I honestly have been fighting myself for so long that I am sometimes lost as to how to get myself unstuck. But I have hopes that with professional help, including some much needed therapy for my mental health, I can find some new tools to help me find a way forward into an even brighter future.

Thanks for all the support to everyone who's reached out in the last year. Your kind words have meant the world to this old fella and I appreciate every message, DM and comment I get. I don't wanna go anywhere, I still got a lot left to say.

Cheers!

Polk

09/22/25

Alternative Facts - Beer Writer Collab at Great Lakes Brewery

The Alternative Facts brew crew!

 There are a few experiences I've had since I started writing about craft beer that will come close to this past Saturday. The very thought of being in a collaboration brew with some amazing writers and lovers of the craft was not something I ever entertained but I was humbled and honoured to be included.

When Troy from Great Lakes Brewing invited me a few weeks ago, I honestly thought he sent it to me by mistake. My journey has often been supported by the fine folks at GLB, but this seemed like something that happened to other people. I have long dreamed of spending a day with good beer people, talking and learning from what they have experienced and sharing our stories. My acceptance reply probably was sent within minutes and I anxiously watched the calendar roll towards brew day.

I carefully planned ahead and had my folks drop me off at Great Lakes (Kat was at work and would pick me up). It was a little funny getting Mom and Dad to drive me out to Etobicoke, but I figured I might enjoy a few GLB treats and wanted to be responsible. Arriving just before 9 a.m., we sat in the car for a few minutes before I headed in.
"I'll just wait and make sure you get in okay", my Dad told me as I got out of the car and it gave me a chuckle as I went through the entrance. I might be pushing 44, but my parents still look out for me and it is a warm and fuzzy feeling I get being so loved.

Entering the brewing floor of GLB, I saw a few familiar faces and grabbed a coffee so we could catch up, admire the beautiful new 7 bbl pilot system Great Lakes owner Peter Bulut had recently purchased and prepare for our day of joy. Genius Brewmaster Mike Lackey was already prepping the tank and I was honoured to dump a bag of malts in as we started up our brew. He told me that the usual job when you're at someone else's brewery for a collaboration is to contribute a little labour and then enjoy the company and beer surrounding you. Who am I to argue with the man who has created so many of my favourite beers and as the clock passed 10, Troy brought out a case of Pompous Ass Ale to get our day off to a proper GLB start.



One of my first Craft Beer loves, fresh from the source and the very first GLB beer from 1987.

As we sat around the table, the stories started as soon as the beer hit the glass and we introduced ourselves or renewed old friendships. I was happy to put a face to a few internet friends, relaxed and felt at ease as the conversation flowed. Time came for the next bit of awesome for the day, a tour and talk about the past and future of GLB.

Troy form Great Lakes took us on a tour of the glory that is GLB.

We walked through all the various rooms and production areas that encompass this ever growing brewery and saw a few of the surprises they have coming for us as their 30th birthday celebrations continue all year long. The tanks, bottling and canning lines whizzed by as we approached the one room and singularly most famous tank in Ontario Craft Beer, Tank Ten. Originally given to the brewers to create whatever their heart's desired, it has become an iconic symbol of what Great Lakes stands for. Many of their most popular and innovative beers have come from this tank and it was no mistake as I lingered like Grampa Joe and Charlie at Willie Wonka's so I could gaze in wonder and place my palm on this beautiful steel vessel. I'm not saying I hugged it or said a silent "Thank you", but things happen and I wandered back to the group with a skip in my step.

It's like visiting the Vatican and seeing the Holiest of Holies. Tank Ten Baby!

After our walk through the back, we returned to the floor to see what was next on the brewing schedule and maybe another signature GLB brew. Sure enough, a case of Canuck Pale Ale soon graced the table and another glass was filled with pure and fresh Great Lakes beer. The discussion turned to the future of not only this brewery, but the growth of the industry overall. Questions abounded as we talked of favourite beers, styles of glassware and some not so favourite trends in the industry. I was quite caught up in getting to spend so much time with people I admired and read on a regular basis and soaked up their experiences and words.

Gordie is always a welcome sight.

The dean of Ontario Craft Beer Writers,
Jordan St. John

As the afternoon progressed, we were asked to sit down and contribute some thoughts on film and I watched as everyone talked quite happily about why they love Great Lakes. I even took a turn, although it was a bit more nerve wracking than my usual filming of beer reviews which is done mostly alone and talking in camera in front of people wasn't something I'd ever done before. But watching my fellow beer writers talk about their experiences and maybe because I was feeling like I belonged for the first time in a long time, I was happy to share my thoughts.

Now that's fresh GLB

   After a delicious and perfectly timed pizza lunch, another round of Fresh GLB appeared and it was my favourite IPA from last year, Lake Effect, Canned only the day before, it was a deliciously hopped up beauty that was even better when you consider just how short a time it had spent in the can. Keeping my calm, I sipped one and wandered back to the brew floor to check on the progress. The scent of the mash filled the air and as our Mild called Alternative Facts (haha) was brewing, cocoa nibs were added and hops came into the mix. 


Getting our cocoa on!

Unreal to see this Imperial flow right from the tank

As the sun moved across the sky, the brew day was coming to a close and Mike Lackey gave us a peek at the next great beer to come back into the rotation, Apocalypse Later. Right from the tank and into our glasses, we were pretty excited to see it. Something about getting it right from the man who brewed it and where it awaits the canning line made it even better than I had remembered and I await its return with a smile. Could this day get any better? Oh it did, indeed...

The brewing done, we were then surprised with a few treats out of the cellar at Great Lakes, including a 2012 Barley Wine called Beard of Zeus that was a malted, dark fruit gem. Smooth, warming and boozy, it was a joy to share with my fellow craft beer friends and our gracious hosts. A bottle of Imperial Bout and Behind the Wavy wall rounded out our day at the brewery and I am pretty sure everyone was feeling good about our Saturday as we made our way out front to say our goodbyes.

I don't think I really will ever be able to describe what it was like for a guy like me to spend a day at Great Lakes, surrounded by people who love beer like I do and who write and share that with everyone. Our hosts were not only welcoming, they were actively engaged in making this a day to remember forever. A huge Thank you to Troy and Mike for all the time they spent with the group and myself personally. To the guys I was lucky enough to spend the day with, thank you for helping me to feel like I belonged and for your encouragement. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience and I am going to bask in its glow for a long time to come.

With the Master of Hops himself, Mr. Mike Lackey, Brewmaster GLB!

 Raise your glass and your standards,

One beer at a Time.

Cheers!!

What a day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perfect Life? No...Even Better, Our Life!

A little while ago someone commented on one of my Instagram photos that my life was perfect. I've had other people tell me they love my posts about my life and how much fun it seems I am having. It's a weird thing to hear and something I didn't think too much about until the last week or so. If you follow all the other places I ramble on about my life, you'll know we had a few events last weekend that really illustrated how much Craft beer has changed my life.

On Friday we went to a All You Can Eat Lobster and Rib fest after I won a ticket from Waterloo Brewpub Abe-Erb. The Rotary club did a great job in planning and our dinner featured some fine beer in addition to the piles of food. As we finished, I turned to Mrs. Polkaroo and told her that Descendant's Brewery was only 10 minutes away. She loved the idea and off we went for a flight and a pint. When we sat down at our table, we joined a couple who were already there and started to talk about our adventures. It turned out that they were Brewmaster and founder of Descendant's Robins' parents. A lively hour or so of exchanging stories and tasting some great beer took our night up a notch. The things that happen when you simply say hello and open yourself up to conversation never cease to amaze me.

Winner, winner, lobster dinner!

3rd lobster of the night

Flights at Descendant's

I could get used to this view!

Saturday found us climbing onboard the Toronto Craft Beer Cruise with our friends Joan and Steven for a 3 hour jaunt around the water with that beautiful skyline as our backdrop. 10 amazing Ontario Craft brewers were aboard with more than double that in offerings and we cast off with hope in our hearts. The weather was outstanding and as I sampled my way around the boat, ran into more beer friends and hung out with the Mrs. it occurred to me that the life I have is indeed very sweet. Brimstone Brewing and their Sinister Minster IPA were my beer of the boat and I had a great time sharing some of my journey with them as I enjoyed more than one sample of this balanced IPA. Running into Jeff and Susan from Muddy York probably was the highlight of my night though (forgot to get a picture...next time). When we visited the brewery in March for Polkapolooza, Kat and I were blown away by Jeff's personality and enthusiasm. Not much has changed since then and he and Susan took the time to talk homebrewing, life and the changing landscape of craft beer in multiple visits to their station. Mrs. Polkaroo is not a craft beer gal, but she absolutely loved the Helles Lager from Muddy York and we both can't wait to go visit and see all that has been happening with one of our favourite breweries. Thank you for always having time for us guys. Seriously, if I lived closer I would no doubt be making multiple trips a week for beer and conversation.

Cruisin' with my favourite person!

Beer of the boat



Beer of the boat! Sinister Minister from Brimstone!



Pretty lady on the boat!

 A year ago I couldn't imagine spending a night in Toronto on a cruise with such a diverse group of people and beer when I was still pounding macro lagers and wasting my nights. The times they are changing indeed.
 I'm not a bar guy anymore but couldn't pass up the chance to hit up legendary Craft Beer spot Bar Volo and it was there that I faced the toughest decision of my life, their tap list. It was intimidatingly huge and for a guy who has had a fair amount of beer, I had only had 2 or 3 of their 30 plus offerings. Luckily Steve grabbed me a Jelly King from Bellwoods Brewery and helped end the stalemate or I am sure I would still be standing there trying to decide. We laughed, ate and drank till the wee hours before heading home and a day off on Sunday.

Is this heaven? Close enough.

This smile never left my face!

When morning dawned and I finished my coffee waiting for Kat to wake up, I decided we should go visit my beer friend Adam up in Guelph to drop off the Grandma's Boy from Bellwoods I had picked him up the week before. After finally getting to meet face to face and have a few minutes of planning something for the future, we made another decision that perhaps shows why we may look a little crazy to our friends and family. I had loved Jelly King so much that I needed some more in my life, so off we went to Toronto for the second day in a row and yet another trip to the red bell on Ossington.
A quick stop was all I had time for but we did managed to grab a bunch of old faves and some new stuff that was put away for later in the week. Once again I had noticed a stop I wanted to make before heading home and despite a timeline that included our nieces' 16th birthday party, Kat was agreeable and we popped in for a flight at one of the newest brewpubs in Ontario, Bandit Brewing. Gorgeous and very cool looking with perhaps the most coveted glassware in the city, I grabbed four samples with the White IPA being the standout and a promise to return for a more thorough "investigation" and perhaps a pint or three.

Flights are my joy!

That logo is a keeper. just don't steal the glass!

Making my way back to work Monday found me in a wondrous mood and while many people find my Relentless happiness difficult to believe, I persist in trying to find the positive in the everyday. The weekend had fuelled my heart to accept more joy and the work week floated by in the best of ways to find us last night (Wednesday) having a small BBQ dinner and thinking of what to do with a night off with no work for either of us the next day. We had heard of a delicious little ice cream spot from Joan called Bang Bang and who doesn't want dessert, even if its an hour away. Coincidentally located nearby was Bellwoods and off we went. Bang Bang is small but mighty in the ways of flavour. Their wall of choices was a huge hit with Kat and we sat just outside the bustling spot on a chilly June evening marvelling at our treats.


Lots of choice here...wow!

My choice...What? Too obvious?

Someone was super happy!

A short walk brought us to my destination of choice for beer and we again decided to sit down for a spell and soak in the atmosphere. Their patio is buzzing almost every time I go and we each grabbed a drink, Jelly King (of course) for me and a West Avenue Cider with cherries and Brett yeast for her. Funky, sour and refreshing, it was a shame we could only have one. Our service was outstanding and attentive, spot on staff. We ordered a plate of crispy fries and enjoyed the vibe as the sun set on the city.

My happy place!

That Bell signals something special here

I was alerted by a friend on Twitter that Henderson Brewing was only a few minutes away and since they were open for a little while longer, made another surprise stop. Big space, more great people and beer I am excited to try made this one a hit in my books. I perhaps bought a growler of their Blonde Ale, but that's another story.

New to me and another cool spot for good Craft beer!

 These things keep happening and each time I marvel at how far my life has come since wallowing in self pity, drunkenness and depression only a short time ago. I know it seems that we do nothing but drink beer but to be honest, Craft Beer and the people and places that make it are only the catalyst to drive us out of our comfort zone and into the world. We use visits to breweries to explore Ontario and beyond with some real exciting things planned for later in the summer. It has become less about the drinking and more about finding neat things to do and see in the course of our travels. I am comfortable with what we have accomplished so far and excited for this new chapter in our lives.
So while my life is far from perfect and I have bad days like everyone else, I think the fact that we actively pursue being happy as a goal and don't sit around complaining about how unfair life can be makes a difference. We all have bumps in the road, but that's no reason to hide from the world. Get out and do something you love, push those negative thoughts out of the way and try to embrace all the good that is out there. I know my life is getting so much better every day because of it and yours can be too.
As always, beer isn't the reason for my happiness, but it helps to have some to celebrate all your accomplishments, big and small.
Raise your glass and your standards, one beer at a time.
Cheers!