You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of beer.
As well as documenting some of the finest beers in Ontario, I have also had the opportunity to indulge in a little self torture of drinking some of the worst and most disappointing craft beer to hit my glass. While the majority of “meh” beers get middling ratings of 3 or so, some are so outstanding for their lack of substance, misleading labels or just plain flaws that I feel compelled to comment further. Most often I choose to ignore the simply boring because life is too short to talk about every single beer that passes through your lens. I always try to be kind while dissecting a beer, trying to walk a fine line between honest criticism and the odd feeling I get when I think the beer is intentionally released even if it is not up to snuff. Money talks and you and I know that there exist in the craft beer world, much like the real world, people who place profit above integrity and quality. Some of these are that and some are just plain off the mark. To quote the thing that cuts to the quick if you ever hear it, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
Here we go…
As well as documenting some of the finest beers in Ontario, I have also had the opportunity to indulge in a little self torture of drinking some of the worst and most disappointing craft beer to hit my glass. While the majority of “meh” beers get middling ratings of 3 or so, some are so outstanding for their lack of substance, misleading labels or just plain flaws that I feel compelled to comment further. Most often I choose to ignore the simply boring because life is too short to talk about every single beer that passes through your lens. I always try to be kind while dissecting a beer, trying to walk a fine line between honest criticism and the odd feeling I get when I think the beer is intentionally released even if it is not up to snuff. Money talks and you and I know that there exist in the craft beer world, much like the real world, people who place profit above integrity and quality. Some of these are that and some are just plain off the mark. To quote the thing that cuts to the quick if you ever hear it, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
Here we go…
5. Whitewater Brewing - Peanut Butter Shake Stout (January 6th) 2.50/5.00
Coming on the heels of the very highly regarded Bellwoods Black Liquids Vol 2, which was brewed with real peanuts, this 4.5 % session stout with lactose looked to deliver a follow up of chocolate and peanut butter goodness.
It did not.
The brewing with peanut and chocolate extract was evident and despite the addition of flaked wheat, oats and lactose, it lacked in the body department in a major way. Artificial and disappointing to say the least. I see it has returned to the LCBO and I will most definitely give it another go, it had potential and I’m all about second chances.
Video review - Pints with Polk on Youtube
4. Magnotta Brewery - Double Drooling Dog Black IPA (April 16th) 2.25/5.00
One of my favourite styles of beer that is criminally underrepresented in Ontario is the dark and roasty, bitter pith and pine Black IPA and when I saw that there was a new one in the LCBO in April, I was intrigued. When I saw that it was from the same brewery that made last years Top 3 worst beer Inukshuk, I was less intrigued and more concerned. Magnotta Brewery has a pretty poor quality track record in the 5 years I’ve been writing about and drinking craft beer. Off flavours, styles promised on the can and not delivered in the glass and a general malaise about anything I’ve seen from them, it was not a promising start. It was a confused mishmash of English IPA, IPA and Black IPA which appeals to no one and found a way to make me question whether I liked the style or if that was just a fever dream. It was roasty and had some bitter citrus pith, but also a caramel sweetness and that took away from any kind of one-two punch you expect from the style. Burned twice, there will not be a third time, Magnotta is a hard pass.
Video review - Pints with Polk on Youtube
3. Syndicate Brewery - The Boss East Coast IPA (March 22nd) 2.25/5.00
I have serious issues when it comes to breweries mislabelling their beers according to style. Each and every style of beer has certain benchmarks you must hit in order to be able to label it as such and a failure to do so is not only misleading, it is dishonest and only serves to hurt the industry as more people dip their toes into the craft beer waters. Having said that, this was most assuredly not an East Coast IPA, leaning more into dry hopped lager territory and a weak one at that. Little to no citrus, pine or body, it showed a disregard for the money that hard working people would spend, hoping to enjoy a fine East Coast IPA and finding instead a muddled mess. I’m good with this being a one time thing, this guy will head away from anything else from The Syndicate.
Video review - Pints with Polk on Youtube
2. NAC Importers - Hoperation SMASH (February 26th) 1.50/5.00
The two worst beers of 2017 both came from this nascent contract brewer and somehow that wasn’t enough as they released another bomb on Ontario in 2019. Hoperation SMASH is billed as a NEIPA but really is mostly sadness. It began with citrus pith, floral hop notes and proceeded to get worse with each sip. Hardly a moment went by when I wasn’t questioning my life choices as this incredibly mislabelled beer drifted into odd toffee notes, soap and finally a dry and bitter end. It was almost like someone took the idea of a New England IPA and simply decided they hated beer altogether and released this. If they have another beer hit the LCBO I will question the integrity of the lab at our liquor regulators and the choices made by their elite staff who are supposed to ensure the quality of the product being offered Ontario and beyond.
Big Nope.
Big Nope.
Video review - Pints with Polk on Youtube
1. Lock Street Brewing - I.P.A. (Industrial Pale Ale) (September 28th) 1.25/5.00
I went to this brewery once a few years back and had a terrible customer service experience that was coupled with beer that was flawed and to be honest, not worth my time. Fast forward to 2019 and my mom was kind enough to stop in at this Port Dalhousie brewery when her and my dad were in town for a race. She had a similar experience to what I had and still did the mom thing and bought me some beer to try when she came back to town. What bothered me was less the treatment of their customers who aren't "regulars", it was also the disregard for anyone who loves beer. I'll leave my original post here, I think it says it all...
"I'll say this about that.
An IPA is an India Pale Ale.
Full stop.
This is an "Industrial Pale Ale" from @lockstreetbrewco and to be very honest, it was well below what I was hoping for. Metallic, off point, missing even a malty back that would head in an English direction, it felt quite misguided and mislabelled from the first sip. Sadly my mom bought this for me, but her experience there matched my own from a few years ago...not good. Should I bother wasting my valuable time off writing about stuff that isn't worth those very rare moments? So many people don't actually read what we write here and just see the pic and move on. I don't know, but wasting my mom's money and treating her poorly makes me pretty pissed. Hope your experience is better, but as always, honesty is all I got this was a disappointment, but not an unexpected one. Pass. Hard pass."
Mislabelled beer, off flavours and poor customer service will do their work as the craft industry grows in the next few years. One can hope Lock Street will find their way, because if they can't, people will find themselves another place to drink and enjoy a well crafted ale or two. Two strikes and your out for me though, I'll let someone else try and see if anything changes...I'd wager it won't.
Video review - Sadly, one of the few beers I didn't do a video review for.
Worst Macro Beer of 2019 - Coors Slice (May 29th) 0.25/5.00
While these craft beer options failed to impress, it was a macro attempt at being crafty that was my absolute least favourite beer of 2019. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...Coors Slice. a 4.2% "flavoured beer", it appeared in my glass on May 29th and I immediately regretted my life choices from the first sniff of it's artificially constructed evilness. The best way to describe this "beer" is that it is akin to drinking Murphy's oil soap, sickeningly artificial orange flavouring with sweet corn syrup as a backdrop to self hatred. It was gross and even now I wonder why I think I had to know...I didn't.
Video review - Pints with Polk on YoutubeSpecial Addendum- Flying Monkey's Brewing Sparklechunks...I mean Sparklepuff TIPA
I won't get into this one again. On the surface, it was brilliantly executed, hazy, fruited up beer, until the chunky, clear ones started surfacing and we all could see that there were clearly two versions of this beer on the shelves in Ontario despite no words from FM except the old, "Sorry you're not happy, there is nothing wrong with the beer. We will give you your money back if you just go away". No acknowledgement of the obviously completely different things we were seeing pop up. I wrote about it here (Don't Gamble with my Beer) and ranted about it on YouTube here (#Sparklechunks). It wasn't the worst beer of the year, but it was the worst example of taking your consumers for granted and while most people could care less, I still remain committed to not drinking beer from a brewery that isn't truthful or upfront when they screw up. I don't gamble on bad bets anymore.
Make good choices my friends, let's hope 2020 has us seeing the light and bad beer finds it's place in the dustbin of history...even if we know it won't and I'll be back here in a year with another 5 pieces of regret for us to discuss.
Cheers!
Polk
Nicely done. Your comments of Hoperation remind me of my feelings when I tried Lost Craft. My worse Ontario of the year was Lake of Bays (whom I usually like) sunseeker.
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