I like to get up early. 6 a.m. is a great time of the day. It's quiet, the day ahead filled with promise and I can write. One of the side effects of my not pounding beers and getting drunk all the time is that I find myself going to bed at a pretty reasonable hour, then waking up earlier than before with far more energy. Not having a hangover with a pounding headache and sore stomach is quite the joy. I woke up that way more days than not and how I thought it was normal is beyond me.
Getting my day started 2 hours or more before going to work means I have to do something with myself. I don't want to just veg out in front of the T.V. and watch something I PVR'd the night before. I suppose when the weather gets a little warmer, I could go for a walk. But that's something I can do to spend some time with my wife, so maybe I will wait for a stroll. I decided I should try to write something. Anything. Every day, for at least an hour. It might be nonsense, something serious or funny. But I want to write. It feels good to be able to put all the jumbled thoughts that run around my head into the laptop and read them later in the day. Sometimes I decide that what I wrote in the morning is on to something and work on it some more. Other times I see where I was headed and change directions. But I never dismiss my creativity anymore. If I wrote it, I keep it somewhere. I may find a use for it later and I don't want to waste any more time.
When I was young, I wrote all the time. I thought I would be a writer of big stories one day and loved creating something new all the time. Life took a different path when I was in my late teens and I took myself off the university bound path I had been on and started to work full time and party more. Not a wise move, but when you are 18, you know everything about life. Right? Man if I could do anything it would be to send a message to myself and try to make me see the light. I know it wouldn't work, mostly because I was a stubborn ass back then.
In the long run, life has tuned out pretty good. I am sure I will take some time as I go along to revisit my youthful indiscretions and share with you the lessons learned from a quarter century of following the path of least resistance.
But for now, I write. For you, my friends and family and for myself. If no one reads what I write it doesn't matter anymore, because I read it. When I go back over the last month, I see growth and want more. Will I ever get it right? I hope not, because the pursuit of the truth drives me forward and I don't want to stop. It is with great care that I scroll these words across the screen to help heal wounds open for far too long. There is a cathartic feeling in letting your feelings be exposed to a wider world and it is a vulnerable, open way to live. I have been closed off for so long, it feels like I have stories bursting out of my mind all day long.
I like to write about beer a lot as you may have noticed. That was the original intent of my blog, To chronicle my journey from drunken idiot to respectable craft beer guy. And I think that is still true for the most part. My choice to explore beer as a metaphor for my life is a good place to start my path. But so much more has come to me as I share my thoughts with people. I have had friends and family tell me how much they enjoy what I wrote and encourage me to keep going, I have reconnected with old friends through my words and it warms my heart that we may be able to break bread together soon.
I hope 2016 will be a good year. I want to experience new things and share them with you. Maybe we can do some of them together. That would be pretty cool. I know my struggle with depression and anxiety can sometimes cause me to shut off from the world, but I hope I can keep those demons at bay with a conscious effort to keep pushing forward. Writing helps because it makes me think about what I want to say, but also gives me the time alone to work it out. I don't want to miss anymore moments in life, big or small. With the help of all of you I think that is possible and this is a big step in the right direction.
Finally, I want to encourage you to do something you want to. Maybe it's writing a story, building something with your hands or trying to learn a new skill. Do it. The sooner you get started the better. I am proof that it is never too late to begin again. I believe that you have the capacity for greatness in your own life and I know you can do anything you want to.
Let's make this year the best one yet and share yourself with the universe. It gives great things back if you only try.